Stay
by misslaurenelizabeth
Summary: Edward and Bella have just been through a messy break-up. After months of being apart, they can't ignore the draw that pulls them together and give into their desires. Edward is convinced that they can work things out, but will the past haunt them?
1. Apologies, Kisses, and Mixed Messages

He was trying to win me back, yet again. We both had a lot to drink and I was way too drunk to drive home. I was going to sleep in the guest room but I knew his bed would be more comfortable and he had promised me he wouldn't try anything.

I slept in my bra and underwear. He slept in his boxers. We never felt the need to hide our bodies from each other, even when we weren't together. I laid down on my usual side, next to the wall. He laid down on his, nearest to the door. It always made me feel safer that he was between me and the door. He was my barrier to the outside world. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and threw my leg over his waist, the way we always slept together in that bed. He kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me tight.

In that moment, I think we knew that we both missed this. So he sat up and stared at me for several minutes.

"Why won't you be my girl?" he asked me.

"Because I can't go through that again, Edward."

"Go through what?"

"Giving you my everything and then you throwing it away again."

"That's bullshit!"

"It is not. You hurt me too badly this last time." I sat up to meet his gaze.

"I hurt you? You hurt me! I loved you! I fucking loved you Bella! And then you had to go and badmouth me to some other guy. You had to cut me down to some guy who clearly wanted to get into your pants-"

"And you think I would have let him?" I cut him off.

"Well you certainly weren't trying to stop him."

"I don't know how else to convince you. I loved you. I would have never done that. I just .. liked the attention I guess."

"Because having my attention all day everyday wasn't enough?"

"It was."

"Clearly it wasn't." He got out of the bed and started pacing around the room.

"Come back to bed. Let's sleep."

"Fine." He got back into the bed and pulled me on top of him to straddle him. I laid down so our chests touched. "You broke us, you know? I fucking loved you. You broke my heart." he whispered into my ear.

"I'm sorry." I kissed him for the first time in months and it felt right. His arms tighted their hold around me, pressing my chest up against him as hard as he possibly could. I could feel his excitement pressed against my center. I pulled away from the kiss and laid my head on his shoulder.

"We should probably not do this." I whispered.

"I want you, if only for tonight. Tomorrow we can fight. We can pretend to hate eachother. Tonight, I want you like old times."

"Okay." I said and with that our lips crashed together once again, this time more urgent and needy than the last.

He unhooked my bra and I shrugged it off, throwing it somewhere into the dark room. We continued kissing, fast, rough, wishing it was possible to devour each other in that moment. He flipped us over and hooked his fingers into the sides of my panties. Without hesitation, I lifted my hips so he could pull them down, tossing them carelessly to the side.

He stood up at the foot of the bed, taking me in, as if trying to commit every inch of me to memory. I knew what he was doing. This was the last time we'd ever do this. We both knew it. This was saying goodbye.

He shrugged down his boxers, freeing his erection. And just like he had done not five seconds ago, I stared him down, marveling at his tall, beautiful form. It was as if he was carved of marble. His muscles not overpowering, but defined. His stomach and chest perfectly outlined like Adonis himself.

That's when he started slowly moving towards me, crawling up the bed to place himself on top of me. On the way up, he stopped, placing small and gentle kisses along my belly. I closed my eyes and let out a little moan. Then I felt his lips meet mine with the softest of kisses. I opened my eyes to find piercing green ones staring back at me.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he whispered into my ear.

I wanted to say so much at that moment. I wanted to tell him that I wanted him for always. I wanted to tell him that we could laugh together again. I wanted to ask him to decide that this game we'd been playing was for keeps. But all I managed out was a small "Yes."

With that, he placed a chaste kiss on my cheek and thrust inside of me. I gasped, closing my eyes tight. It had been months since we had been together like this and I hadn't been with anyone else in that time. He steadied himself, giving me time to adjust. No matter how many times we did this, I was still in awe of his size.

When I was ready, I opened my eyes and met his. He pulled back out, almost all the way before slowly thrusting back inside of me. Our gaze never tore away from each other as he continued moving slowly but with purpose. He was pouring everything he had into this and I was taking it gladly.

My abdomen began to tighten and I knew I was close. That's when I broke our gaze. I closed my eyes and he knew me well enough to know what that meant.

"Come for me baby. Let me at least give you that." he said to me in between thrusts.

I was so close to the edge but I wanted him to fall off with me so I held off. He wasn't having any of that. He reached down and started rubbing circles on my bundle of nerves. I started contracting around him and I came hard.

He kissed my forehead as my eyes fluttered open, all the while never stopping his steady pace of thrusts. "I love you. I never stopped." he said.

"I love you. And I never will stop." I replied.

And with that, he came, filling me with his juice. The sensation made me come again.

He pulled out of me and rolled back over to his side of the bed. He pulled me to his side as I nuzzled my nose into his neck and threw my leg over his waist. We didn't say anything else. We just drifted to sleep, enjoying the comforting feeling of being in each other's arms.

*****************

The sunlight poured in through the window in his bedroom as I opened my eyes. I took in my surroundings, paying particular attention to the sleeping man next to me. My thoughts began racing. The beers, the argument, the love making, the entire sadness and finality of last night crept upon me.

_This could be awkward._ I needed to get out of there before he woke up.

Carefully, I removed his arm from around me. He stirred, but didn't wake. I lifted my leg off of him painfully slowly to which he responded with a groan and shifted so he was facing away from me. The hardest part was yet to come. I had never been successful at sneaking out of this man's bed. I began to climb over him, giving my best effort not to touch him. As I was straddling him, he shifted again and I knew all hope of being inconspicuous was lost was when he arm brushed against my frame.

"Hey," he said without opening his eyes. His voice was still full of sleep.

"Hey," was all I could muster out as I hopped off the bed and began searching for my clothes. _Where were my underwear?_

"You know, I think that's the best sex we've ever had." He finally sat up, using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes.

"Uhh .. yeah. I .. uh .." I didn't even look at him and continued my search. _Under the bed? No. In the corner? No, but at least I found my bra._

"You don't have to make this awkward."

I sighed. "Where'd you throw my underwear, Edward?"

"Why are you leaving?"

"I asked you first."

"Look on the desk chair." He pointed to his desk and sure enough there they were.

I snatched them up and put them on before reaching for my jeans and shirt. "I'm leaving to make his less awkward." I replied to his question, pulling my jeans up and fastening them.

He jumped out of bed and walked to stand in front of me. He was still stark naked and beautiful. "Stay." It was one simple word, but from it poured more love than I ever knew he possessed. He placed his hand on my cheek, stroking my lips softly with his thumb. He gently pulled my face closer to his and planted an innocent kiss on my lips.

I felt a beat of electricity shoot through my veins and I was sold. "Okay lover boy. How about I make you some breakfast while you find something to cover up that little problem?" I said, pointing at his erection.

"Well, there are several things wrong with that statement. For one, you can't cook worth a damn and you know it. Two, its morning and I can't help it. And three, I think we can both agree this problem is anything but little." With that, he grabbed my hips and pushed them towards his.

I giggled. "Fine, fine. I'll go buy us some breakfast from that café you love so much. And you're going to have to come with a better excuse for getting a boner around me. And as for the size, it's nothing to write home about." I smirked, knowing good and well that last part was a bonafide lie.

"You little .." he reached for me but I was already on my way out of his bedroom.

"Take a shower while I'm gone. You smell like hot, nasty sex!" I shouted over my shoulder before grabbing the handle to the front door.


	2. Beers, Years, and a 25 Dollar Spray Tan

**A/N: I'm glad to see that some people have added this story to their faves and story alerts! This chapter is from Edward's POV. I wanted to tell what happened before the argument and give a little background on the two of them. The rest of their history will become known throughout the story as problems arise and such. I think I'm going to alternate chapters from BPOV & EPOV.**

**Reviews are wonderful too, even if its just a "Good job!" or "This really sucks." Feedback is the only way I'll be able to become a better writer.**

**Also, is anyone interested in beta-ing this story. PM me. (:**EPOV

* * *

I let the water wash over me in the shower as I thought through the events of last night and this morning. It started out innocent enough.

_Emmett had managed to drag me and Jasper to another one of those bars he frequents and while I was glad to have a few beers with my best friends, I wasn't really in the mood to pick up any girls. Bella had pretty much ruined me after that last time._

_We got to the bar and within 15 minutes, Emmett had his arm hooked around the neck of some tall blonde and was introducing Jasper to her other friend. _

_**Great. Fifth wheel again.**__ Not that I wasn't used to this kind of thing. In fact, that's kind of how it had always been. Bella and I have been back and forth since high school while Emmett and Jasper have always whored around._

"_Hey dude, Rosalie's got another friend for you if you're interested." Emmett whispered into my ear._

_It had been awhile since I'd gotten laid, and it had been years since I'd slept with anyone but Bella. "Yeah, sure. Why not?" I muttered._

"_Really? Great! When Rosalie and Alice get back from the bathroom, I'll ask her if Lauren's left yet." Emmett said. I could tell he was surprised I took him up on his offer. _

_Just then, I saw the two girls Jazz and Em where talking to earlier heading back our way. Trailing behind them was a girl with make-up caked all over her face, bleach blonde hair, and a $25 spray tan. She wasn't anything like the natural beauties that were with her. She certainly looked nothing like Bella. I shuddered when I thought about what she'd look like in the morning.__** Carpe Diem Edward. Just do it.**_

_I downed the last of the beer I'd been nursing for the past hour. I had originally planned on being the designated driver but if I was going to bed this bimbo, I'd need a lot more alcohol than what I'd been consuming._

"_Hi. I'm Lauren Mallory." the bimbo said, holding out her hand in my direction._

_I shook it. "Edward Masen. Nice to meet you."_

_Two hours, 4 beers, and 3 tequila shots later, Jessica had started to look less like a bimbo and more like a supermodel._

"_Edddddie .. let's go back to your place." she purred into my ear. I was too drunk to remind her not to call me that for the tenth time so I let it slide. I reached into my pocket and fumbled for my keys._

"_Oh no you don't!" Emmett snatched the keys out of my hand. "I'll be driving back. I think you've had enough alcohol to float a cruise ship Edward." He motioned for Jazz and the little pixie that was hanging on his arm to follow us out the door and into the parking lot._

"_We can't all fit in the Volvo Emmett. You take up like half the car on your own." Jazz said as we started walking, well stumbling in my case, towards my silver car._

"_I'll walk!" I declared. At the time, it seemed like the best idea in the world. I started stumbling toward the road._

"_I am not walking! These heels cost 400 dollars!" the bimbo exclaimed._

_I whirled around to face her. "No one said you had to come!" I yelled back._

"_Oh this is ridiculous. Girls get in my car. Boys get in Edward's car. We'll meet back at Emmett's." Emmett's girl said._

_Jazz and Emmett looked at each other and nodded. "Sounds good Rosalie." Emmett said. He kissed her on the cheek and she made her way toward a red BMW, the pixie following behind her._

"_Lauren, let's go." Rosalie called back._

"_I'm going to Edward's," the bimbo whined._

"_Go with them. I'm still walking." I slurred out and began hiking toward the main road again. I felt a hand grab my wrist and spin me back around._

"_Edward, stop being ridiculous. Get in the car." Jazz said sternly._

"_No."_

"_Get. In. The. Car."_

"_No."_

"_Then we're leaving you."_

"_Isn't that what I've been trying to say all along? You go. I'm walking." I started walking again and actually made my way to the road. I'd been walking for about 5 minutes when the Volvo pulled up beside me._

"_We sent the girls home Edward. Just get in the car." Jazz reasoned._

"_No."_

"_I'm going to call Bella to come get you then."_

_I abruptly stopped walking. "Jazz, do not do that. Whatever you do, don't do that."_

"_She's the only one who can reason with drunk Edward. I sure as hell can't."_

_I groaned. "Call her if you want. I am still walking."_

_The Volvo pulled off. __**Good. Finally they left.**__ I walked for another 20 minutes or so. I was just contemplating passing out in a bush next to road when I heard the unmistakable racket of Bella's old Chevy truck approaching me in the distance._

"_Great. Just great." I huffed under my breathe._

"_Edward Anthony Masen, if you do not get into this truck in 5 seconds I will force you in!" Bella screamed. I always loved it when she yelled at me. It was like a kitten meowing really loudly in order to scare a lion._

_I shook my head. "Can't do that Bella. Just can't do it. I'm already almost home anyways."_

"_Edward, can I ask you a question?" This time she used her normal, sweet voice that reminded me of honey._

"_Sure." I stopped walking and turned to face the truck._

"_Do you care about me?"_

"_You know I do Bella."_

"_Then get into the truck so I can take you home safely and get some sleep. It's almost 3am for crying out loud."_

_I sighed. "Okay Bella. Just do me one favor."_

"_And that favor is?"_

"_Don't tell the guys I'm so pussy whipped."_

_She chuckled. "Just into the truck Edward."_

_I opened the door and climbed into the rusty vehicle. I guess I slept the rest of the way home because the next thing I remember is Bella shaking my shoulder and whispering "Edward, we're home."_

_I opened my eyes and stared up at my apartment building. I looked over at Bella. "Would you like to come up for a beer? It's the least I can do in return for making sure I didn't end up sleeping in a bush."_

"_I think you've had enough beers Edward."_

"_I agree. But you could probably use one."_

"_Just one Edward, and then I have to get home."_

_But Bella didn't have just one. She had five. We were laughing and talking like old times. I had forgotten how much I missed just being normal with Bella._

"_But then, Emmett decided that he could take down a bear. So there we were, drunk as fuck, in the woods looking for a bear for Emmett to wrestle." I said, laughing so hard I couldn't breathe._

"_And did you end up finding one?" she said in between giggles._

"_No. Instead Em decided he'd rather have Taco Bell. So we drove to Taco Bell and ordered one of everything on the menu. And that fucker ate it all! Can you believe that?"_

"_Honestly? Yes. I can. I miss Em and Jazz. They always have the craziest times."_

"_Yeah, they're good guys." I yawned._

"_Oh my gosh! The sun will be up in like an hour! I had better get home!"_

"_No way are you driving right now Bella. You can sleep here."_

"_If you're sure Edward." she said. She got up from the couch and started heading to the guest room._

"_You can sleep in my bed .. with me .. if you want." I said softly. I don't know what was going through my head then. It didn't make any sense for her to share a bed with me when she'd be just as comfortable in the guest room._

"_I don't know about that Edward."_

"_We will just sleep, I promise. I'm too tired to even think about trying anything."_

_She thought about it for a second, biting her bottom lip. "Okay."_

_I really didn't intend for anything to happen. It was just with her lying there in my arms, in my bed, with her nose nuzzled into my neck, and her leg thrown over my waist; it occurred to me that she was the only girl I ever let sleep in my bed with me. We weren't even together and I had offered her an open invitation. I would've probably fucked that bimbo and then made her leave. I'd done it before. I was that much of an ass. But Bella was always welcome in my bed. Even when we'd been having one of our breaks, she'd come stay over sometimes. We'd just sleep intertwined like this, just to enjoy the comfort and safety of it all._

_So I didn't mean to start the argument. I really didn't. But at that moment, I didn't understand why she couldn't be my girl forever. So I sat up._

"_Why won't you be my girl?" I asked._

**************

I heard the front door open so I figured Bella was back. I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist before walking to the kitchen.

Bella was laying out plates and glasses onto the table. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that she knew where I kept the dishes in my apartment. After all, this was once her apartment too.

"Hey beautiful." I said as I stood in the doorway. She jumped.

"Edward! You scared me!" She began to pour some orange juice into each of our glasses.

I walked over behind her and snaked my arms around her tiny waist. "I thought about you in the shower." I whispered into her ear.

"You perv." She giggled and pried my arms from around her. "I got some bacon and hashbrowns. I wasn't sure what you .." she trailed off as she turned around to face me.

"See something you like?" I asked, gesturing up and down my body.

She scrunched her nose. "Like I said, nothing to write home about."

"You really shouldn't have said that." I started tickling her side.

"Edward! I can't breathe! Stop!" she screamed amidst the laughter.

I stopped and pulled her in for a kiss. "Isabella Marie Swan, I am going to take you here on the kitchen table."

She pulled away from me. "Oh no you don't. You're going to sit here and eat this breakfast I bought for us."

"Fine." I huffed and sat down at my chair. She took hers. It all felt so comfortable.

"We have to talk about that argument last night at some point," she said.

I was hoping she wouldn't bring it up. I almost choked on the sip of orange juice I'd just taken.

She sighed. "Like it or not Edward, if this is going to work, we need to talk about what happened with Jacob."

"Don't talk to him anymore. There. Problem solved." I said, as I took a bite of my hashbrowns.

"He's my best friend Edward."

"I'm your best friend Bella."

"I've known Jacob since I was six years old. We used to make mud pies in my backyard. We almost burned down my house one time when Charlie wasn't watching us close enough. He carried me a mile and a half home when I fell out of a tree and broke my arm. I cannot just stop talking to him, and even if I could, I wouldn't want to."

I felt anger rising up in me. "When you went to Renee's funeral, I held your hand and let you cry on my shoulder the entire time. When everyone went off to college, I came to visit you at Washington State every weekend. When you threw up at your very first party, I nursed you all night and took care of you all the next day. When I wanted to have sex and you wanted to wait, I waited Bella! I waited for three years!"

She remained calm. "I'm not giving up my friendship with Jacob."

"And I'm not going to pretend that I didn't catch that mutt with his tongue down your throat six months ago. I'm also not going to pretend that you weren't responding. I'm definitely not going to pretend that he didn't call me manipulative, controlling, and jealous. It seems funny to me Bella that those are the words you used when we took a break this last time."

"I'm sorry I confided in a friend!"

"Wrong! Angela is your friend! Jessica is your friend! Jacob is just some kid who's been in love with you his entire life!"

She stood up from the table, tears welling up in chocolate-brown eyes. "Edward Masen, I will not listen to this. Emmett called. He said he will bring the Volvo by in a couple hours. I have to go. Please don't call me." She started walking towards the door.

"You're the one that insisted we talk about this Bella! And now you're leaving!" I yelled after her.

She turned around, this time the tears were running down her beautiful cheeks. "I meant what I said last night Edward. I will always love you. But this .." she motioned between the two of us "will never work if you can't trust me."

I stood up and walked to stand in front of her. She looked up into my eyes and nothing needed to be said. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest. "I love you too Bella. And the only thing I can say at this point is that I want to try. I hate living here alone. I want this apartment to be ours again. I want you again. Please?"

She pulled away and wiped the tears from her cheeks with her tiny, little fingers. "Let's just finish breakfast , okay?"

I smiled and said "Okay."


	3. Lunch, Showers, and Blue Boxes

**A/N: Another chapter for today. Just because I thought of how I wanted to develop some of the other characters a little bit. Enjoy.**

**Reviews are my favorite. Story Alerts and Favorites aren't too shabby either. (:**

**I realize I haven't attached disclaimers to my chapters. My bad. Instead of going back and placing them in Chapters 1 and 2, let me just say here, for the record.**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR THESE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE IS ONE LUCKY LADY.**

* * *

We finished breakfast in silence and Edward helped me clean up the dishes afterwards. I wanted to bring up the Jacob situation again because I didn't feel like we had really resolved anything, but I was too afraid that another argument would ensue and I would really end up walking out for good this time. _Don't rush it, Bella. It will all work itself out in time._

"You want to watch a movie? Or you could read a book while I look over some stuff for one of my cases?" Edward asked just as he was putting the last plate in the dishwasher.

"At some point, I do have to go home lover boy." I said, heading towards the living room and picking up my purse. I gestured towards myself. "Look at me. I have 'walk of shame' written all over me."

He chuckled. "It's not shameful unless you regret it. Do you regret it Bella?" And then his expression became solemn.

I didn't even need to think about it. "Not at all." I answered without hesistation.

"Good." And then his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered.

"Hello? .. Hey dude .. yeah everything's cool .. I can't say .. maybe .." He looked up at me and smirked. "You're an ass and don't call me Eddie .. yeah, basketball sounds great .. three o'clock? .. Alright tell Jazz not to whine when Ben & I kick your asses." He snapped the phone closed and muttered something under his breathe.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Just Emmett making sure I got home okay."

"I already talked to him this morning. I'll bet you anything he was questioning the events of last night. And I'll bet you anything you confirmed his suspicions." I said.

He smirked. "I just said maybe."

"Maybe implies yes, but I will let it slide this time Masen."

"I appreciate it ma'am." he said with a salute.

I giggled and started heading toward the door. "I need to go home and shower. Call me?"

"What if I'm not ready for you to leave just yet?"

I stopped and turned to face him, hands on my hips, weight shifted slightly more to my right side. This was my best effort at an attitude stance. "It's not like I'm never coming back Edward."

"The last time you walked out that door, you promised me you wouldn't." I remembered it distinctly. And I remember meaning it.

"And yet," I sighed "here I am." I gestured around the living room.

"Here you are."

There was a long silence. In this time, it didn't escape me that Edward was still in just a towel. It took every ounce of self control for me not to run up and tackle him to the floor. I had never been good at resisting him, but it was something I was working on.

"Just do a couple things for me today?" I broke the silence.

"Anything," he said with that half-crooked smile that always made me swoon.

"First, get dressed. Then, maybe get some work done around this apartment. I mean seriously Edward? If I'm going to spending time here, you can at least make it look like less of a bachelor's pad and more like the apartment of a successful Seattle lawyer? What 27 year old man still uses Budweiser coasters? What happened to the coasters I bought when we moved in? And when was the last time you dusted? Don't make me come back with my little white gloves. And why," I picked up a dog toy from the floor "do you have this? You don't even have a dog-" I could have kept going forever.

"Hey," he pointed his index finger at me "Budweiser is a damn good beer."

I smiled. "Indeed it is. Indeed it is."

"But okay. I guess I can make this place more Bella-friendly. I'll call you later tonight. Maybe we can have dinner?"

I nodded and made my way out the door.

*******************

Once I got home, the very first thing I did was shower. I had to get rid of that sex hair and fast. Then I checked my email. One from Charlie, asking me for an update on my life. I hated that I'd left my Dad alone in Forks but I had to get out of there eventually. One from Alice, one of my sorority sisters, saying she was in town from Chicago and staying with a friend named Rosalie. She wanted to know if we could get lunch soon. And one from my boss, asking for the newspaper article I'd been writing on the opening of this new art gallery downtown by tomorrow at five. I still hadn't started it yet. I closed my laptop and made a cup of hot tea. I sipped it and read a little out of one of my books. And then I realized I was just biding my time and I would rather be with Edward. I picked up my phone and sent him a text.

_I miss you already. What are you doing? – B_

About 5 minutes later, my phone chimed.

_I miss you too. Just started lunch with Ben, Em, & Jazz. Wanna come shoot hoops with us later? – E_

_You know me better than that. – B_

_You're right. Call you when I'm done? – E_

I took a deep breath before typing this next text. Were we at the point where we could use those three words casually again? Or was it only supposed to be used to end fights and in the middle of love making?

_Please do. I love you. – B_

_I love every last bit of you. – E_

I smiled so big I thought my face was going to get stuck like that. I felt just like a teenager who'd just had her first kiss or something. My stomach was doing flips. It was ridiculous what this man did to me after all these years. We'd started dating when we were 16 years old. Now, here we were, over 10 years later, and he still gave me butterflies.

I called Alice and asked if we could grab a late lunch. She asked if she could bring Rosalie and if we could meet at that new Thai place on the corner near Cat's Cradle. I asked her how she knew about Cat's Cradle, because it was typically a local's bar. Not many tourists went there. She giggled and said she'd explain it all at lunch.

When I walked into the restaurant I immediately spotted Alice sitting at a booth with one of the most beautiful blondes I had ever seen. Normally, I hated blondes. I'd just never had a good experience with them, but this one was quite possibly the most stunning woman I'd ever seen. I felt plain just being around her. I approached the table. The 4 foot 11 inch pixie leapt up and threw her arms around me.

"Bella!!! I am so glad you're here. This is Rosalie. We went to high school together. Did you cut your hair? It looks shorter. You've got a post-coital glow going on! And a .. is that a hickey? Oh you have some explaining to do Miss Swan! And how is the newspaper job going? Must be nice working from home. When I finally get to open my own boutique, I'll work at home a lot too hopefully. And maybe I'll even move to Seattle. I mean, the couture market here isn't half bad and Rosalie says we can be roommates. Maybe if we all get along -"

"Alice! Breathe!" I cut her off. "Hi Rosalie, I'm Bella." I said, offering my hand to the blonde as I took a seat across from her and Alice.

"Nice to meet you Bella." Rosalie said, shaking my hand.

I looked in Alice's direction. She had finally calmed down. "To answer everything else you addressed. No, I haven't cut my hair. I have a post-coital glow and a hickey because of Edward. The job is great but I hate being cooped up in the apartment so much. And I'd love for you to move to Seattle."

Alice looked at me with a disgusted face. "Do not tell me you're back with that Edward guy?!?"

"You've never even met him Alice." I rolled my eyes. Alice had been my first phone call many times after Edward and I fought during college and in the years that followed. As such, she didn't like him at all. "This time, we're going about this a whole different way."

"What? Fuck first and ask questions later?" she replied with a smug look on her face.

"Just meet him before you make any final decisions, okay?"

She huffed. "Okay."

"So .." Rosalie was dying to break the tension "why don't you tell Bella why you chose to eat here?"

Alice's eyes lit up. "Oh! Yeah! I met the head chef from here at Cat's Cradle last night! His name is -"

"Jasper Whitlock?" I cut her off.

"How'd you know?" she asked.

"One of Edward's best friends." I thought this was a good way to make Alice open up to the idea of Edward and I being together.

"Your Edward is Edward Masen?" Her mouth hung wide open.

"Uh-huh." I nodded. I didn't understand what the big deal was. How did she know Edward's last name?

"We met him last night too." Rosalie jumped in. "He got piss ass drunk, tried to come onto our friend Lauren, and then went all asshole on her at the end of the night. Something about wanting to walk home. I don't know. He seemed kind of crazy to me."

That sounded like Edward. If there was any doubt in my mind that they were referring to my Edward before, there was none now. _My Edward. Mine._ I liked the sound of that.

Alice was still in shock. "Seriously Bella? I mean, the guy is hot. I'll give you that. But he's a real dick." Leave it to Alice to always tell it like it is.

"Let's just drop it for now Alice." I said, wanting to avoid conflict.

The rest of lunch was filled with meaningless conversation. Alice clued me into the latest fashions and informed me that Converse were so 1989. She instructed me to stop wearing them to which I just rolled my eyes and nodded. Rosalie gushed about meeting Emmett last night and about how incredibly sweet he'd been to her. She said they stayed up all night on the phone talking. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to tell Rosalie that the Emmett McCarthy I knew was nothing like that. The big brute only treated two girls right in his whole life. One was his mom and the other was me, only because Edward wouldn't have had it any other way. I got Alice to agree to participate in a triple date with the boys. The Seahawks were going to the Superbowl next Sunday and Emmett had invited Rosalie to be his date. I knew the boys were all going and I assumed I'd be going with Edward. It was only a matter of time before Jasper invited Alice.

As I made my way back to my truck my phone chimed.

_Ben & I dominated in basketball. Wanna shower with me? – E_

_Meet you at your apartment in 10 minutes, dirty boy. – B_

_Make it five. – E_

***************************

I sped all the to Edward's apartment. When I pulled up, his Volvo was already parked outside. With his driving, he could get anywhere in Seattle in five minutes. I swear the man just took whatever was on the speed limit sign and multiplied it by two, then drove that speed. I ran up the three flights of stairs and down the hallway to his door. I knocked twice, panting the entire time. I didn't know if it was from being out of shape or the excitement of shower sex with Edward. The door flew open and Edward's lips crashed into mine.

"I missed the hell out of you." he said, his lips still pressed against mine. He stepped into the door, dragging me in with him, all the while never losing with my lips. I kicked the door closed with my foot and let my purse drop to the floor. He started leading me through the hallway and into the bathroom where the shower water was already warm and running.

I finally broke our kiss. "Excited, were we?" I smiled.

He nuzzled into my neck and I let my head fall to the side to give him better access. "Mmmm" *kiss* "I just thought" *suck* "I'd speed up the process." *lick*

I moaned a little and started unbuttoning his jeans. Edward stepped just far enough away from me to let his jeans fall to the ground and then he pulled down his boxers and shrugged off his t-shirt. If it were up to me, this man would never wear clothes.

I soon followed, undressing myself in record time. I grabbed Edward's hand and led him into the shower. We stood there under the warm water, kissing each other deeply and passionately. I reached down for his cock, taking it into my hand and started pumping.

Edward pulled away from the kiss and leaned his head back, enjoying the feeling of having my hand there. His hand then found my folds and suddenly I felt two of his fingers slide inside of me, pumping in and out in unison with my motions. I had forgotten how talented this man's hands were.

"Turn around and put your hands on the wall baby," Edward whispered gently. I complied. He pulled my hips toward him a little more and used his knee to spread me legs further apart. Then I felt him enter me. I gasped at the sudden sensation. He filled me perfectly, as if we were made for this. Unlike last night, he didn't pause. He started thrusting hard and fast. I moaned loudly and began backing myself up each time to meet his thrusts. My breathing quickened, as did his. I heard him growl as his hands snaked up my back and grasped into my hair. He gave it one quick tug and we both fell over the edge. We stayed very still for a minute, both coming down from our high. And then he pulled out and I was sad at the abrupt feeling of emptiness.

I started laughing.

"What?" he asked as he pulled me to him, his chest resting against my back. He snaked his arms around me waist and I could feel his erection at half-mast again, already. Edward has the libido of a stallion, not that I was complaining. I was happy to oblige.

"Nothing." I kept laughing. "I just always love the irony that our dirtiest sex always takes place in the shower."

"Well that's because you're a dirty girl Miss Swan." Edward smacked my ass.

I saw where this was going. "Oh Mr. Masen, how can I make it up to you?"

"Move back in with me."

Okay. Clearly I didn't see where that was going. I swallowed a lump that was in my throat. Maybe I had misheard him. I had to have misheard him.

"Pardon?"

"Bella, this is your place too. You've slept on Angela's couch long enough. Come home."

I pulled away from him and opened the shower door. I grabbed one of the towels he had laid out for us. My Edward was always prepared. _My Edward. Mine. No Swan, snap out of it. You're mad, remember?_

I wrapped the towel around me and looked at Edward. "It is entirely too soon for that." And then I shut the glass door and left him to think about what he'd just asked of me.

*************************

I was mad. I was beyond mad. I was livid. How could he ask that of me? This is the home we made together. This was the place we'd bought to start our lives together as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Masen. Moving back in here would mean that I was sure I wanted that again. I wasn't even sure I wanted Edward at this point. We still hadn't settled the whole Jacob subject, not to mention his other jealousy issues. We had so much other stuff to work through too.

Edward came into the living room and sat down beside me on the couch we had picked out together when we were designing this apartment. "I'm sorry Bella. It was a very impulsive question. I didn't mean to upset you and I am not trying to rush you back into anything. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to move back in here eventually. I'd also be lying if I said I didn't want you to have this back eventually too." He pulled out the diamond ring I'd once worn on my finger.

I glanced down at it. While it was still absolutely breathtaking, it didn't hold the same appeal that it had the first time Edward had presented it to me.

_It was the summer after college graduation. Edward had just been accepted to Harvard Law school and I had accepted a job writing for the Seattle Times. We were in our meadow, the place where we went to just be ourselves. It was paradise. It was where we shared our first kiss. It was where declared our love for the first time to each other. It was our place._

_I was lying in the grass on my stomach, reading Wuthering Heights for what must have been at least the tenth or eleventh time. Edward was lying beside me on his back, tracing small circles on the small of my back with his pointer finger._

"_How would you feel if I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?" he asked._

"_I'd say we decided that years ago Edward Masen." I said, setting my book down._

"_But how would you feel if I talked to Charlie and he went with me to pick this out?" he asked, holding out a baby blue box with a white ribbon tied around it._

"_You and Charlie went shopping at Tiffany's? Should I be worried you're getting too close to my dad?" I joked._

"_Seriously, Isabella." He wasn't laughing and he sat up. I took that as a cue for me to sit up as well. So we sat together facing each other, our legs crossed and our knees touching each other._

_He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful engagement ring I'd ever seen. He took a deep breath. "Isabella Swan, I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"_

_My eyes welled up with tears. I had never been so sure of anything in my life. "Yes."_

Now the ring was just a reminder of what we used to be. Sure, we'd fought before. We'd fought plenty of times. We even fought throughout our engagement. It's not like he proposed and we lived happily ever after. We fought constantly. But we were Edward and Bella. It's what we did. None of the fights ever last more than a week or so. One of us would always cave and apologize. We would always make up with each other.

I'd never gone this long without talking to Edward. Had it really been six months?

"It's just too soon Edward." I shook my head.

"I understand. But I will ask again Bella. And again. And again. Until you say yes."

I placed one of hands on each of his cheeks and pulled his face towards mine. I lightly brushed my lips against his once and then stood up to make my way to his front door.

"Thanks for the shower lover boy. I have an article to work on. I love you."

"I love you too. And Bella?"

I turned around. "Hmm?"

"I never changed the locks."

I nodded and went out the door. I think that was Edward's way of welcoming me into the apartment anytime. I didn't feel the need to tell him that I already felt welcome. Truthfully, home was wherever he was. That apartment was home, even if I wasn't staying there.


	4. Friends, Enemies, and Tension

**A/N: Really short chapter, but I wouldn't have found a good place to end it otherwise. I'm already working on Chapter 5 so it should be up very soon. Possibly tonight.**

**Got any questions? Write it in a review.**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight is Stephanie's, not mine.**

* * *

I fell asleep that night with thoughts of Bella in my head. Of course, that was never anything out of the ordinary. Bella was everywhere I went. You couldn't just intertwine your life with someone for over 10 years and then pry them apart and expect everything to be okay. I slept in the bed she picked out every night. I turned on the over-priced coffee pot she insisted we buy every morning. My best friends constantly asked about her; after all, they were her friends too. The guy at the café on the corner always asked me how my fiancé was doing every morning when I stopped by to grab a bagel. I never had the heart to tell him we'd ended our engagement. Everything in my life was drenched in Bella. And now she was back. After promising me she'd never come back, she'd been here. It was always hard to watch her walk out the door again because some small part of me kept thinking she wouldn't return.

And then I had asked her that stupid question. Rational Edward knew it was too soon. I wasn't trying to pretend we didn't have problems to work out. I just thought maybe we could work them out while under the same roof. It killed me that she'd been crashing on Angela's couch for the past six months, but I was happy she hadn't gotten her own place .. yet. And I didn't want her to. This was our place. I wanted her here always.

*******************************

Work the next day was tedious and long. Between the reviewing of legal briefs and the consultations with clients, I was counting down the minutes until I could hear Bella's voice, smell Bella's hair, kiss Bella's lips -

And just was I losing every ounce of masculinity I had left in me, my secretary's voice came in from the speaker on my desk.

"Mr. Masen? Mr. McCarthy is on the phone for you."

I pressed the button on the phone to answer. "Thanks Tanya. Put him through."

I picked up the receiver, holding it between my ear and my shoulder as I shifted through papers on my desk. "Hey Em, what's up?"

"Eddie! Remember that girl I met from Cat's Cradle?"

I groaned at the mention of Cat's Cradle because that brought up the memory of Lauren and how I almost slept with her. "Don't call me Eddie and yes, I remember."

"I asked her to come with me to the Superbowl, you know, as like a date."

I stopped what I was doing, took the receiver into my hand and leaned back in my chair, placing my feet on my desk. "Emmett, you don't date. You sweet talk, you fuck, and then you break the girl's heart. In the 12 years I've known you, you have never dated."

"This girl's different Eddie!" I almost interrupted him at the use of that terrible nickname but he kept going. "She wasn't amused by my sweet talking. She didn't beg for my cock. In fact, she kind of acted uninterested at first. It was a pretty big blow to my ego." I cracked a smile. "She doesn't take my bullshit man. It's kind of sexy how much of a bitch she is."

"Well Em, that's great. I'm really happy for you. Is that why you called? To let me know that you can no longer pick on me for being pussy-whipped?"

"Oh I can still pick on you Eddie boy. Don't you worry about that." He chuckled. "But seriously, we have six tickets. You wanna bring Bella along? Jasper's bringing that pixie girl."

"Yeah, I am sure Bella would love to come. She said she misses you guys."

"Sweet. Well I gotta go Eddie. I'm getting ready for work." Emmett worked as a bouncer at this club in downtown named New Moon. I never understand why the man would work such a dismal job. He had a college degree and all that. He played football at USC in undergrad on full scholarship but some knee injury prevented him from going pro. So he moved back up here and became a bouncer. It was kind of ridiculous actually. Emmett was a huge guy, but he'd never hurt anyone off the field in his life. He was like a huge teddy bear.

"Alright. I'll see you later on." I started to hang up when Emmett said something.

"Wait! Jazz is bringing the pixie to the club tonight and I think Rosalie is tagging along. You should bring Bella. They can get to know each other a little so the Superbowl next weekend won't be so awkward."

"I'll talk to Bella and see. Bye Em." I hung up the phone and glanced at the clock. 4:58pm. That was good enough for me. I put all the files back in the cabinets and locked them, put on my suit jacket, grabbed my laptop and shoved it into its case, then turned out my office lights and closed the door.

Tanya was still sitting at her desk typing away at her computer. "Have a good evening Mr. Masen," she said in her best sex kitten voice. Bella definitely did not approve when I hired Tanya two years ago. At the time, I didn't understand why. She had great credentials and I liked her personality. Bella accused me of liking "a lot more than her personality". It was then that it occurred to me that Tanya was indeed a beauty in her own right. She had curly strawberry blonde hair, pale skin, and these little freckles that danced across her nose and underneath her eyes. Bella didn't have anything to be jealous about though. I only had eyes for her.

"You too Tanya." And I headed for the elevator.

**********************************

Once I got into the Volvo, I wasted no time in calling Bella. It rang once, twice, three times and then a voice answered. But it wasn't the honey voice that I expected.

"Hello?" A bright, jittery, female voice boomed through the speaker on my phone.

I was a little taken aback but I composed myself enough to say "Hi, is Bella around?"

"Oh, yeah. Hold on a sec. She's in the kitchen." And then I heard a muffled "Bells! Your phone rang and I answered it! It sounds like Edward!"

What the hell? How did this girl know my name?

"Edward! Hey! I was in the kitchen making pie! Well, trying to make pie. Alice is here to supervise in case something catches on fire." Bella said.

Alice? Alice? Where had I heard that name?

"Funny story actually. Alice is actually seeing Jasper now." she continued.

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Not that girl._ I had been a complete ass that night. I'll bet Alice had told Bella everything, including the part about the bimbo. I was pretty shitty to her, I had to admit.

"Oh I remember Alice." I tried to act nonchalant about it. "How do you two know each other?"

"We pledged together at Washington State. She's visiting Seattle for the week to see if she might want to move here from Chicago." she sighed. "I'm kind of covered in flower here lover boy. Did you have a reason for calling or can I call you back when I'm clean?"

I had been completely distracted by the Alice curveball and almost forgotten why I called in the first place. "Oh yeah! Emmett invited us to New Moon tonight. Alice, Jazz, and Rosalie are going too, I think."

"I .. I .. kind of already .."

"Spit it out baby."

"I kind of already .. made plans with Jacob tonight."

I was seething and immediately increased the speed I was driving. "I see."

"Don't be mad Edward."

"I'm trying my best, but I'm only human Bella."

"I just need to figure out where our friendship stands. It's completely innocent. He's coming to pick me up and then we're grabbing dinner and talking. That's it."

"He's driving three and a half hours from Forks to have dinner and talk?" I scoffed. "I find that hard to believe." I pulled up to my apartment building, got out of the car, and started making my way upstairs.

"Well he's already on his way so believe it," she said, trying her best to stand up to me.

"Isabella, you call him and tell him to turn around or so help me-"

"Absolutely not. I need this." she cut me off. I hated when she cut me off like that.

I took a deep breath in as I opened the door to the apartment and stepped inside. In my most calm and reasonable voice I tried to explain my objections. "Part of working us out means compromise. I'm working on my jealous tendencies, but baby you have to give me time until I'm comfortable with something like this."

"You're being unreasonable Edward." Her voice was curt and it cut through my relaxed façade with ease.

I lost my temper. "Fine! You want to spend your evening with Jacob? Do it! But don't expect me to spend my evening alone wallowing in self pity!"

"Edward Masen, if you continue to yell at me you will regret it." Bella sounded so calm. I always hated it when I raised my voice at her because she never did the same to me. Way to make me feel guilty. But guilt was not an emotion I was capable of comprehending at the moment. Right now, in this moment, all I felt was rage.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I plopped down on the couch. "Isabella Swan, if you go out on a date with Jacob tonight you will regret it."

"It's not a date."

"It is a date."

"It's not."

"It is."

"We sound like a couple of six year olds bickering back and forth." She laughed and I was glad she relieved some tension with her statement.

"I love you. Please don't see him tonight. We don't have to go out. You don't even have to see me. Just," I took a deep breath, the desperation evident in my voice "please don't see Jacob right now?"

"He's already on his way Edward."

That's it. She was impossible to reason with. "Fine." And I hung up the phone before she could say anything else.

I scrolled through my contacts to a name I knew wouldn't have any problem accompanying me to New Moon.

"Tanya? Hey, it's Mr. Mas -err- It's Edward. I was hoping you weren't busy tonight?"

* * *

**A/N: Don't hate me! Edward's an ass! I didn't want him to resort to this, but his pride just wouldn't let him stand by and wallow while Bella went to dinner with Jacob. And to be fair, he did reason try to reason with her.**

**Next chapter things get settled between Bella and Jacob and we find out why Edward hates Jacob so much.**


	5. Bikes, Keys, and a Morning Surprise

**A/N: I just wanted to get this out before bed. I've been updating at an alarming rate because I just have so many ideas on where I want to take this. The updates might not be coming as fast after this but they'll still be coming to you every couple days so no worries.**

**Keep in mind that when we argue in relationships, both sides are always convinced they're right. We tend to do irrational things when we're angry and we feel like we aren't being heard. Edward and Bella both do some pretty irrational and impulsive things in this chapter, just letting you know.**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight belongs to Stephanie, lucky lady.**

* * *

I had expected Edward to take it badly. I just didn't expect him to act so childish about it. Here we were, well into our late 20s and we were still fighting like we were 16 and stuck back in Forks High School. And what made it even worse is that he hung up on me.

The bastard had the nerve to raise his voice at me, scold me, and then .. as if the argument hadn't been heated enough, he hung up on me.

Six months ago I would have called him back, apologizing and giving into him. I would have called Jacob and kindly rescheduled. But not now. I was fed up with being stepped all over. If this was going to work this time around, I had to show him that I wasn't going to give in to his juvenile behavior.

Alice's voice snapped me out of my train of thought. "I take it that didn't go well?"

"Not at all."

"Well, Rose just texted me. I have to go get ready for the club tonight. I can cancel though, if you want me to stay with you. We can watch old movies and have a girl's night." Alice really is one of the sweetest and most considerate people I know. She would drop everything she had going on just to be there for a friend and I loved her for it. But I had to do this for myself. I had to face the oncoming storm alone.

"No, you go. I'm still seeing Jake. I might as well since Edward's already mad at me for it."

"Okay. Goodnight Bella. I shut off the oven. The pie is done. My cell phone is on if you need anything at all. I'm a phone call away." She kissed my forehead and headed for the door.

As soon as I heard the door click, I collapsed onto the floor. It felt like all in the oxygen in the room had been sucked out. What if Edward couldn't handle a relationship with me now? I wasn't going to be the subservient Bella he'd always known. I had changed a lot in the past six months. I wasn't going to let him always win anymore. My flour-covered hands were soon drenched with tears as I held my face, rocking back and forth, wailing out loud like some kid who'd just found out Santa Claus wasn't real. Except I wasn't a kid, and this wasn't some fictitious character, this was the love of my life.

The sobs turned into sniffles and I reached for me phone, calling the only person in the world that could make this okay.

"Hello?"

"Jake," *sniffle* "how far away are you?"

"I'm about half an hour outside of Seattle." He paused. "Bells, are you okay?"

I took a deep breath, getting myself up off the floor and heading towards the bathroom. "Honestly? No. But I will be. I'm just hopping into the shower and I will be ready soon. Do you think maybe we could stay here instead? Maybe watch a movie and have some wine? I don't really feel like going out tonight."

"Anything you want Bells."

"Okay, see you soon." I hung up the phone and turned on the shower water. It was going to take more than a shower, a bottle of wine, and some movie to fix this but it was a start.

***********************************

Thirty minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find my best friend. He was tall and rough and tan and strong. His hair was jet black and his eyes were dark and mysterious. Our parents always thought we'd end up together when we were younger, and until the day Edward sat beside me in Biology that day, so did I. I threw my arms around him and just started crying. I knew this reunion wasn't supposed to be about him comforting me, but I needed my best friend at that moment and it had been too long since I'd seen him.

"Bella, if you squeeze any harder I'll suffocate," he laughed.

I released him and wiped away my tears. "I'm done with my nervous breakdown now. Please come in." I gestured towards the door.

"So this is the new place, huh?" he said, stepping into the apartment and plopping down on the living room couch.

"Well, it's actually Angela's place. And you're currently sitting on my bed, in my bedroom." I giggled.

"And where's Angela?" he asked, looking around the apartment.

"In Southern Cali for the month, doing some project for the homeless." I muttered. I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of White Zinfandel from the wine rack. I came into the living room and held the bottle up. "This okay with you?" He nodded and I went back into the kitchen to pour us each a glass.

I sat down beside him on the couch, my legs curled up underneath me, facing him. We were sitting close together, and if I hadn't known him my entire life it would have been uncomfortable. But we had explored that territory, and it was like kissing my brother. _Too bad Edward never listened long enough for me to tell him that._

The thought of Edward made me frown and Jacob didn't let my change of emotion go unnoticed.

"You sounded upset on the phone."

"I was." I looked down at my glass and swirled the pink liquid around in it.

"Anything I can do to help?" He took a sip out of his glass and turned to face me.

"Not unless you can magically stop making Edward act like a jealous ass." I said, still looking down at my drink.

He set his glass down on the coffee table and placed two fingers underneath my chin, lifting my face up so our eyes could meet. Jacob had wonderful dark brown eyes that made me feel safe and warm. Warm. If I had to use one word to describe Jacob, that would be it. He was warm, always. Warm, patient, and understanding.

"I'm sorry I screwed things up for you guys Bella. I will never forgive myself for it." My mind raced back to six months ago.

_I had just met Edward for his lunch break. We went to the new restaurant Jasper was working at. Back then he was just a sous chef. A familiar voice boomed from behind me._

"_Bells?"_

_I knew immediately it was Jacob. But as if I didn't know, Edward's look of annoyance at the interruption confirmed it._

_I stood up and turned around, taking a running leap into the arms of my best friend. He embraced me and lifted me up into a hug bear hug. "Jake! What are you doing all the way in Seattle?"_

"_I went for a ride on the new bike. I just rode for forever. I ended up in the city and Jasper had extended me an open invitation so I figured I'd stop by." He set my feet back down to the floor and released me. Then I noticed he was looking over my shoulder in Edward's direction. I could only imagine the dirty looks Edward had been sending our way. It wasn't like Edward had anything to worry about. Jacob was my best friend. Edward was the love of my life. But there had always been an ongoing competition for my time and attention going on between them, and when I moved to Seattle with Edward he thought he had won for good._

_Jacob's tone changed from excited to hurried and unsure. "I'm actually just heading out now. Call me Bells? We'll have lunch soon." He turned around and walked out of the restaurant._

_I turned around to Edward who had an innocent look on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him. He didn't honestly think he was getting out of this one. I had a feeling he'd be sleeping on the couch for this tonight. "Don't pretend you were giving him a death glare just now."_

"_I assure you I was not." He had the nerve to lie to me._

_I turned back around and stomped, yes stomped, my way out of the restaurant. Jacob was on his bike at the curb, just about to start it, when I yelled for him. "Jake! Don't go just yet!"_

_He took off his helmet and his big dark eyes bore into me. "Bella, I can't pretend to be okay with the look I was just getting in there."_

_I don't know whether it was my anger at Edward or my curiosity or both, but I ran up to Jacob and pressed my lips against his. He embraced me and deepened the kiss. We were basically full-on making out when he broke away to pull me onto the back his bike. I held tight onto Jacob's waist as he moved to crank up the bike. Just then something clicked into my head. __**What the fuck was I doing? I didn't need to be rescued from Edward. Edward wasn't the villain. He was my hero.**_

_I jumped off the bike and turned around to find Edward standing in the doorway of the restaurant, jaw clenched and hands balled up into fists at his sides._

_My mouth dropped open and I wanted to say something but the words just wouldn't come out. Edward had plenty of words for the both of us._

"_You have got to be fucking kidding me! Honestly, Bella? I'm sitting right here in the restaurant. If you're going to whore around behind my back, at least be a little bit sneakier about it! And you," he pointed to Jacob "I knew I had good reason not to trust you!"_

"_It's not her fault you're manipulative, jealous, and controlling!" Jacob yelled. He was definitely not helping._

_I finally found my voice. "Edward, can we talk about this when we get home?" I didn't want to say anything in front of Jacob that I might regret._

_Edward started walking down the sidewalk and I trailed behind him, forgetting all about Jacob sitting there on his bike. "I have to go back to work. I'll be home a little after five. We can talk then." He had lowered his voice, but I could still hear the anger. He reached the parking deck where the Volvo was and turned around to face me._

_I guess he wanted me to say something. I didn't really know what to say. I had just confirmed all of his worst fears and he watched the entire thing happen. I needed time to formulate my words. But there were three words I was sure of so I just said those. "I love you."_

_He didn't say them back. He just turned back around and walked towards the Volvo._

I was brought back to the present, here in Angela's living room with Jacob.

"Do not blame yourself Jake. I just want you to promise me that we are still friends?"

"Is that even seriously a question? Of course we're friends. It will take more than you leaving me stranded on a corner for me to end our friendship. Hell, Isabella, even a meteor crashing into Earth wouldn't end our friendship."

I smiled. Jacob was always so understanding. "Good."

"And Bells?" He picked up his wine glass and chugged the entire thing.

"Yeah?"

"If you have to take a break in our friendship until Edward is ready, I will still be here. I don't expect him to just let me back into your life, especially since I still owe him an apology."

"Okay." I was beaming. "It's late Jake. Tell you what? Why don't you take the couch for the night? I'll sleep in Angela's room. It'd be terrible to drive back right now."

"Sounds good to me." He gave me a hug and I got up to get him some blankets.

******************************

I woke up the next morning and Jacob was already gone. He was giving me space. I was never happier to have such a great best friend.

It was still early and I knew Edward was probably not even awake for work yet. I brushed my teeth, glanced in the mirror, and attempted to gather my mess of curls into a ponytail. I had slept in gray sweatpants and my Forks High School t-shirt. I didn't have time to change. I wanted to catch Edward before he left for work.

As I cranked up the Chevy and put it into drive, the argument that had caused me to leave crept up into my mind.

_Waiting for Edward to get home had been torture. At 5:16pm, the apartment door opened and I was sitting on the couch waiting for him. He set down his laptop bag by the doorway and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. When he stepped into the living room I could see the worry and the stress on his face. It physically pained me to have to see him like that. His beautiful face should never look anything but happy._

"_You wanted to talk?" he sat down beside me on the couch._

_I wanted to be brave. Everything in my being told me not to let him overpower me and to make sure he understood where I was coming from, but my voice came out meek and timid. "Yeah. I'm sorry for what happened today Edward. I was just mad at you. The jealousy thing really got to me today. You really can be kind of controlling. I thought maybe Jacob .." I sighed "I don't really know what I was thinking."_

"_That's the thing Isabella. You weren't thinking." He chided me. It made me feel like a child getting scolded by her parents. "I can forgive you with time. But I will never forget what I saw. It's burned into my memory."_

_And then something clicked. I was not about to take all the blame for what happened. He'd been acting like an ass to Jacob for years. He'd been treating me like his property for years. He'd forbidden me to talk to the opposite sex without him around. He'd limited my phone calls to Jacob. Sure, I was wrong for kissing Jacob. I had a momentary lapse of judgment. But he'd been doing this for as long as I can remember. "No."_

_He furrowed his brows in confusion. This wasn't how things normally panned out with us. "Excuse me?"_

"_No." I said a little bit more loudly this time. "I'm not taking all the blame."_

_Edward took a long sip of his long-forgotten beer. "Isabella, I don't need to tell you that you're lucky I'm even being this forgiving."_

_**Oh no he did not.**__ In that moment, I saw only two options. Option Number One: Bitch-slap Edward until he couldn't see straight. Option Number Two: Get the hell out of there as fast as I could._

_I went with the second option. As calm as I possibly could, I got up from the couch and made my way into the bedroom. I opened the dresser and began packing my clothes into a suitcase. I did the same with the ones in the closet._

_Edward was leaning on the doorframe in the bedroom watching me. He had taken off his jacket and tie, unbuttoned the top two buttons on his dress shirt, and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He looked devilishly sexy and if I hadn't hated him so much in that moment, I would have pounced on him. After taking another long drink from his Budweiser and running his free hand through his hair, he sighed. I stopped packing and turned towards him._

"_You don't need all of those clothes. I'm sure you'll be back from Angela's in less than a week."_

_I scoffed at him. "I'm not coming back this time Edward. I've had enough. I can't do this anymore." I latched the suitcase shut and began to move towards the door. Edward blocked me. "Move."_

"_Can't do that Bella."_

"_Move." I said it a little more harshly this time._

"_You're wearing something of mine. And if you're not coming back, I'd like it back."_

_**Was he serious right now?**__ I set down my suitcase and pulled the engagement ring off my finger, flinging it onto the bed. "There. Now move."_

_He stepped aside and I picked up my suitcase before walking down the hallway and towards the front door. I turned around one more time, hoping he'd say something to stop me from leaving. I was hoping for anything that resembled an apology at this point. I just wanted him to apologize for being an ass so I could kiss him and we could make love and everything would be okay again._

_Instead I was met with a smug look, an eye roll, and a curt "Don't expect me to apologize Isabella. I have nothing to be sorry for."_

_I didn't even reply. I just opened the door and left._

_And we hadn't talked since. So I was surprised the night Jasper called and woke me up. He sounded so desperate and worried for Edward. And damn it, I still loved the man so I had to make sure he got home okay._

I put the Chevy into park outside his apartment building. Or was it our apartment building? I really didn't know anymore. I was ready to tell him I was sorry and that I understood we needed time to heal. I was ready to tell him that I wanted to come home for good. I was ready to tell him that we could make it through anything together because I truly believed love was enough.

I made my way up the stairs, butterflies flying around in my stomach the entire time. I rummaged through my purse for the key to the front door and slid it into the lock. It fit. I smiled to myself at the fact that he'd always hoped I'd be back. I always hoped I would be too, even if I told him I wouldn't be.

I slowly opened the front door; not wanting to wake Edward up yet if was still asleep. I closed the door softly behind me and took a couple steps into the living room. I looked around. He'd cleaned up. For me. He'd cleaned up because I had asked him to. I went over to coffee table to find the Budweiser coasters replaced with the Van Gogh ones I'd bought. I made my way into the kitchen to find the sink empty, for once. He'd washed the dishes. And then I glanced over to the refrigerator. The door was opened and someone was fumbling through it looking for something to eat.

So you can imagine my surprise when the door closed to reveal a very half-naked Tanya, wearing only Edward's dress shirt, and a mass of tangled sex hair that only one Edward Anthony Masen had the skill to provide.

She froze.

I froze.

And then my eyes widened when I noticed a very dark hickey on her neck.

And those same eyes started to fill with water as I turned around to head back out the front door. Before I left, I placed my key on the coffee table. I dug through my mass of a purse to find a pen and something to write on. I scrounged up an old Wal-Mart receipt and scribbled a note on the back then laid it next to the discarded key.

_You'll probably need this back. Maybe give it to Tanya?_

_Love, Bella_

I don't know why I signed it like that. I just had no idea what else to put because as much as this man infuriated me, as much as he caused me absolute heartbreak, as much as I wanted to walk away from him, I loved him. I was undeniably and irrevocably in love with him.

The tears kept falling as I exited his apartment. It was, indeed, his apartment now. That bed could never be ours now. That apartment could never be ours again.

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**A/N: This chapter makes me sad. It was sad writing it, it was sad editing it, it was sad posting it. But it needed to happen to explain the whole Jacob situation.**

**The Tanya thing kind of popped up out of the blue at the end of Chapter 4. Edward's an ass. What can I say?**

**Next chapter will hopefully be a little happier. There's definitely a lemon coming on, but I'm not sure if they will sort through the Tanya fiasco just yet. He did christen _their_ bed with some other girl. That's kind of hard to forgive so quickly.**

**Reviews? Story Alerts? Favorites? Yes please. (:**


	6. Freesia, Cherry Garcia, and Chanel No 5

**DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns all, including my soul recently.**

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"Edward."

I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.

"Edward, wake up." I felt Tanya nudge my shoulder with my hand. Waking up with Tanya wasn't anything like waking up with Bella. I longed for that sweet honey voice to whisper into my ear but all I got was the raspy voice of a chain smoker saying my name.

I sat up, ran a hand through my messy hair, and glanced around. Tanya was standing beside the bed, dressed in the shirt I'd worn to work yesterday, a coffee mug in her hand, and a bewildered look on her face. The alarm clock said it was 6:07am.

"Damn Tanya. I still had 23 minutes before I had to wake up. What was so important?"

"Bella came by." Suddenly I understood just what was so important.

I gulped, afraid of what was coming next. "And?"

"She left before I could say anything."

I jumped out of bed, grabbing whatever clothes from the floor and dressing quickly. "I'll be late for work!" I yelled to Tanya over my shoulder as I grabbed the Volvo keys from the coffee table. I was just about to head out the door when I spotted that damned note scribbled on the back of a Wal-mart receipt. I picked up the key, her key. My heart sank.

Now I knew Bella. I knew Bella in every way you could know a person. I knew that she laughed in awkward situations. I knew that her toes curled when she climaxed. I knew that she bit her lip when she was nervous. I knew that she cried when Heath Ledger died. I knew that she didn't believe in destiny. I knew that she loved Budweiser and hated Cosmopolitans. I knew that she had a scar on the inside of her right thigh from falling out of a tree when she was eight. But what I didn't know – what I didn't understand – was why Bella would sign the note like that. Was she trying to tell me that she still loved me? Should I go after her? Was this her saying goodbye for good finally? Why didn't she wake me, yell at me, do something?

I was utterly and completely dumbfounded. And for once in my life, I was left speechless.

"Are you going to go to her?" Tanya's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"No. She doesn't want me." The words came out, and when they did that meant they were real. I dropped her key back onto the coffee table. My throat closed up as Tanya walked up behind me and put her hands around my waist. She pulled me close and rested her head in between my shoulder blades.

I just stood there, not reacting, but not pushing her off of me either. I closed my eyes and thought about it. _This is easy and simple. Tanya wants me. No confusion. No mess. I can do this. I have to do this. I have to accept Bella's wishes and let her move on with her life._ I breathed in deeply and leaned my head back, letting the moment soak in. It didn't escape me that Tanya smelled like cigarettes and Chanel No. 5. Yet again, another way in which she was nothing like Bella. Bella always smelled like freesia.

_The first time I showed Bella the meadow, it was mid-July and we had been hiking for two hours. I had discovered the place on my own with ease but when I tried to bring Bella back I'd gotten us lost. We finally arrived there and Bella collapsed into the grass._

"_If I didn't think you were so adorable, I'd be mad at you for leading me aimlessly around the forest for two hours."_

_I laid down beside of her, still too afraid to touch her. I was 16 and awkward as hell. I had no idea what I was doing. I turned my head so I could stare at her. It was one of my favorite things to do. I had spent my time in Biology studying her more than anything else in the class. She turned so that our eyes were locked into each other's. There was a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. It was unusually hot today for Forks and we'd both been sweating while roaming around the forest."If I didn't think you were so beautiful, I'd be disgusted at the sweat dripping off of you." I smirked back to her._

"_Edward!" She hit my chest, just enough to make me wince, to which she giggled in reaction._

_I laughed and began to tickle her. Tickling turned into wrestling and pretty soon we were rolling around in the grass in a fit of laughter._

"_Say uncle." I was straddling her and I had her pinned down, hands above her head._

_She grinned from ear to ear. "Nope."_

"_Say it."_

"_If I say it, can we head home so you can shower? You smell like my grandma's dog." She smiled and I was instantly embarrassed._

_I released her arms and climbed off of her. I resisted my urge to nervously pace around and comb my hands through my hair and opted for sitting next to her instead._

"_I was kidding, you know." She sat up and crossed her legs underneath her._

"_I know." But I really didn't know. And I really didn't know how else to make the situation less uncomfortable. So I thought of the only thing I could do. "Hold still."_

"_Why?" She looked confused._

"_I just wanna try something." I cupped each of her cheeks with a hand and slowly pulled her towards me. I closed my eyes and let my lips ghost over hers and then pulled away. When I opened my eyes, I saw Bella blushing as beautiful as ever and biting her lip._

_In the movies, when you have moments like this you say something memorable and romantic. You say something about how much you love the person or you philosophize about life. But there was only one thought coming to my mind and since acting on impulse had been working for me so far, I said it. "You smell like freesia."_

_She smiled at me and I knew I had said the perfect thing._

"Let's call out of work today Tanya. I need the day off." I said, opening my eyes and turning around to face her.

Her eyes lit up with delight. In her best secretary voice she said "I will make the necessary calls." She leaned in to kiss me and I let her. It didn't have the spark that Bella's kisses did, but I didn't hate it either. I pulled away after it felt appropriate. "What would you like to do today?" she questioned.

"Sleep."

She smiled and I saw a look of understanding in her eyes. "Okay."

***********************

Tanya and I spent the day in bed, fucking and sleeping. I wasn't really sure why I was doing this. I should have just stood outside Bella's apartment until she let me in and then delivered some big romantic grand gesture to apologize. That would have been the romantic thing to do. But I wasn't listening to my heart anymore. It was my head's turn to call the shots. And my head told me that Bella didn't want me anymore so I had to move on.

Sure, I'd slept with other women before. In the couple years before I moved to Forks and met Bella, I'd made my way through most of the female population at my school in Chicago. And then there was the occasional blowjob from a drunken sorority girl while I was in college that I used to ease the pain of whatever Bella and I had broken up over that time. I never felt guilty about any of it. It was all fair. This, I knew, wouldn't be forgivable and I guess since I knew I had screwed up already I thought I might as well royally fuck things up.

Being with Tanya felt completely different than being with Bella. She tasted like the inside of an ashtray, for one thing. Not like Bella, whose kisses always left me with a sweet taste in my mouth. Her blowjobs weren't too bad. I couldn't really complain. The woman knew what she was doing. But when she'd look up at me through her eyelashes with her mouth wrapped around my dick, I couldn't help but feel like those should be chocolate eyes staring at me instead. Everything we did, I couldn't help but compare Tanya to Bella. And Tanya fell short, every time.

So I left a sleeping Tanya in my bed, got dressed, and grabbed both the Volvo keys and her key. On the drive to see Bella, I had some time to do some thinking. In that time, I came to a few conclusions. One: I didn't care if Bella didn't want me anymore or hated me for that matter, I had to at least try to win her back. Two: I knew winning Bella back was going to take more than an apology. And three: I knew she'd be even more upset when I told her how I spent my day. But if I wanted things to work out this time I had to be completely honest with the woman I loved.

**********************

About fifteen minutes later, I was knocking on the door to Angela's apartment.

"Bella? Bella, please open up so we can talk."

No answer.

"Bella, I saw the Chevy outside. I know you're in there. Open the door."

_Still no answer. Damn. She must be really mad._

"Baby, I know you're mad. You probably hate me. I would hate me. I'm an ass. I'm a stupid ass. But I love you Bella. I always have, always will. Now open the door please so I can apologize to you properly. You don't have to accept my apology but at least hear me out."

I heard the lock on the door turn and a very upset Bella cracked the door and peeked her head through. Her chocolate eyes were red from crying and her cheeks were all splotchy and tear-soaked. Her hair was a mess of tangles. And even in that moment, she was more beautiful than Tanya had ever been.

"If I let you in Edward," *sniffle* "can you promise me that you won't raise your voice? I'm not sure I can handle you yelling at me right now."

"Of course baby." I couldn't even believe she was asking me that. I was pretty sure once I confessed everything to her; she'd be the one yelling at me.

She opened the door and I took a few steps in, closing it behind me. Bella padded her way into the living room and sat down on the floor next to the table, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face into the tops of them. There was a half-empty pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia sitting there with a spoon in it and a mound of tissues next to it. This had been her ritual every time I had been an ass to her, which was often. I wanted to take her into my arms, kiss her forehead, and tell her everything was going to be okay. I wanted to tell her that love was enough. But instead all I could say was "I'm sorry" as I took a seat next to her, leaving a comfortable distance between us.

She didn't say anything. I was waiting for her to yell at me. I wanted her to yell at me.

"I want to be completely honest with you Bella because I love you and I am tired of lying to the love of my life."

She looked up at me and I realized she'd started crying again. The pit of my stomach was in knots because I knew that I was the cause of all of this.

"After our argument last night, I called Tanya. I invited her out to New Moon. We had a few drinks and went back to the apartment. She kissed me and things kind of escalated from there." I took a deep breath in. I knew this next part would break her heart. "We had sex last night. And again this morning. And we spent the day in bed together."

Bella's tears stopped and her face went blank. I couldn't tell what she was thinking in that moment, and knowing Bella as long as I had, I could always tell what she was thinking. After about 5 minutes of silence, Bella did something I never expected her to do. She launched herself onto me. She damn near tackled me. And she kissed me, hard and forceful.

I was completely confused but I thought that if this was what would make things better for Bella, I'd go along with it. I kissed her back and her hands slipped down to the bottom of my t-shirt. She lifted it and broke away from the kiss long enough to strip it off me. I looked into her chocolate brown eyes, hoping for some clue as to what she was doing but I was met with a stranger's eyes. The eyes I'd known for 10 years weren't there anymore; they'd been replaced with something strange and completely foreign.

She pulled off her shirt and crashed her lips into mine again. I was always completely turned-on when Bella became sexually aggressive like this, but this time I felt more sadness than anything. She made quick work at undressing the both of us and pretty soon we were naked and making out on the living floor like two teenagers. I wanted to say something, but I honestly didn't know what to say. The woman had left me speechless twice in one day, that's a new record for me. I always have something to say.

Bella was lying on top of me and she didn't waste any time, taking my cock and placing it at her entrance. For a moment, I lost my common sense and had let her continue whatever this was. But now my common sense was back and I realized I couldn't let her do this. I hadn't even told her everything yet. "Isabella." She kissed me again in an effort to shut me up. I pushed her off of me completely. "Isabella, stop."

She looked up at me, her lips red and swollen from all of our kissing. I didn't know what was going through her mind.

"Bella? Baby? Say something?"

She took a deep breath in and it looked like she was about to speak but instead she just pounced back on top of me and started kissing me again. I felt like a complete asshole for letting her offer herself to me in these circumstances, but I let her do it anyways because, well, let's face, I **am** an asshole.

Bella was sitting on top of me, one leg on each side of my hips. She pressed her hands onto my bare chest and lowered herself onto my erection. The sight of her impaled on my cock was mouth-watering enough, but then she moved her hands to rest on my shins and I got a tantalizing view of her beautiful stomach and perfect breasts. She threw her head back and started rocking back and forth really slowly and I was so in shock of her taking control that all I could do was watch her work me. She started making little circles with her hips and it felt so good I thought I was going to explode. Then she made the first audible sound since I'd walked through the front door. She moaned.

And that one little moan was enough to drive me insane. I pulled her to my chest, flipped us over, and started pounding into her faster and harder than I thought possible. Keeping with my movements, I took her left nipple into my mouth and sucked hard. I flicked it with my tongue as fast as I could. She moaned again. Her hands snaked around me to pull me closer to her and then I felt her fingernails scratch down my back. She knew that drove me crazy. I kissed her with hunger and lust and desperation and damn it to hell, I kissed her with love. I was about to come, I could feel it. But not without her. How would it look if I'd taken advantage of her emotional state and not even made her come? So I started thinking about anything I could to hold off. _Baseball. My grandmother. My latest court case._

Then I felt it. Her muscles started contracting around me and she moaned loud enough that I'm sure the neighbors could hear her. I kept pumping, finally giving into my own orgasm. We came together and then I collapsed on top of her, utterly exhausted and completely mind-fucked.

We laid there just like that for a few minutes, both of us catching our breath and letting our heartbeats return to a normal rate.

"I'm ready to talk now." Finally she spoke.

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**Reviews, Story Alerts, Favorites are great.**

**Seriously though, reviews help me know if I should even continue on. This could very well suck for all I know. I'm not opposed to constructive criticism.**


	7. Marshmallows, Art, and Shattered Ikea

**A/N: Thank you thank you thank you for the feedback I got. It gave me the motivation to turn out this chapter quicker than I'd imagined I would.**

**Someone said that Bella's reaction was kind of OOC, and I have to agree a little bit. No one in their right mind would screw their boyfriend after he'd been doing their secretary in their bed all day. But this couple's pretty dysfunctional (as one reviewer put it), and Bella has several reactions to Edward's indiscretion.**

**That said, I think this chapter is my favorite so far. A lot happens in it.**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight's still Stephanie's.**

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"I'm ready to talk." I said. Because now I was finally ready. I had sulked all day, I had thrown about four porcelain dishes against the wall and shattered them, I had indulged in a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I had cried until there were no more tears left, I had fucked Edward stupid so my name was the only one he'd ever remember; and now the only thing left to do was talk.

He slid off of me and reached for his boxers before standing up and putting them on. "Okay." And then he sat on the couch, leaning forward and propping one elbow on each knee.

I put on my underwear and t-shirt. This conversation was better had while clothed and we both knew it. "Edward, I love you more than I ever thought I could love a person. You are the one person that proved to me that love was real. I will never forget you for that and I will always remember what we had." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes because I knew this last part was going to be difficult. I choked them back. _Be strong Bella. _"But you cannot possibly expect me to forgive you for what you did. Sure, I kissed Jacob .. once. Then I came to my senses in about 30 seconds and went running after you. But it took you a whole 24 hours of screwing your secretary before you realized you should come to talk to me? Not just screwing your secretary but doing it in our bed. Edward that's low, even for you."

He looked down at the floor in an effort not to look at me anymore. I hoped he was hanging his head in shame. He had plenty to be ashamed of. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"I know." And I finally moved to sit beside him on the couch, linking my arm in his and resting my head on his shoulder. "But I'm not sure sorry is good enough this time. That bed can never be ours again Edward. It will always be tainted. You know I was coming to tell you I wanted to come home?"

He kept staring at the floor. "I didn't, but now I do and I feel even worse."

"Well I was. And at that point, I had convinced myself that love really was enough. I had so much faith in us Edward. I had so much faith in you. But I can't do this."

He shot up and off of the couch. I sat motionless, watching him pace back and forth while running his fingers through his hair. He was trying to process what I had just said. He stopped pacing and lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck while staring at me.

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. Then the pacing started back. He continued this for what felt like hours, pacing back and forth almost speaking to me but then not. I just sat there and watched him. I knew he'd have to work this out in his own mind before he could formulate any words.

The actions were just so .. Edward. And just like Edward, when things got tough he got angry. You would think after 10 years, this man's temper wouldn't terrify me anymore but anytime I saw the anger in his eyes I was automatically on edge.

Finally, he stopped pacing and actually said something. "So you mean to tell me that you're throwing 10 years away just like that?" He started pacing again but kept talking. "I make a mistake and I'm honest with you because I love you. What do you do? You leave me! You fucking leave me, just like you left me six months ago. You know sometimes Bella; I think I'm the only one that wants us to work, what with you doing all this fucking leaving!" I didn't answer. I wasn't supposed to. It was like I was witnessing some inner monologue that he'd been churning around in his brain during all of the pacing. "If you don't love me, you just have to say so. Stop playing pretend just to satisfy me. I'm not pretending Bella. I'm not fucking around." I huffed, because fucking around had been exactly what he'd been doing all day.

My huff elicited a very scary reaction from Edward. He stop pacing, picked up the coffee table, melted Ben & Jerry's and all, and threw it across the room. The cheap thing shattered into broken pieces. Now I was utterly frightened. I had seen the extent of Edward's anger before, but never directed at me. He'd beaten up a few guys in high school, even sent one to the hospital for smacking my ass. But I had never seen Edward lash out at me, ever. "This isn't funny Bella!" By now, his face was red and there were tears pouring from his eyes. "Do you think this is funny?"

I realized at this point, I should probably start speaking. I looked at the pieces of what used to be Angela's coffee table, and my fear was reiterated. "No," I uttered. It was barely louder than a whisper. I stood up from the couch, my hands shaking and my heart beating out of my chest. I slowly walked towards him and cupped his face into my hands. I stared into his watery jade eyes for what could have been seconds, minutes, hours. The red slowly dissipated from his face. He reached his hands up to place one on each of mine and I looked up at him with .. with .. adoration? It was a funny feeling to have for someone who just broke your heart and then threw a huge temper tantrum in an apartment that wasn't even yours, but I adored this man. I always have, always will.

"Please don't leave me." I could hear the desperation in his voice. "It almost killed me last time. I don't think I can go through that again."

And because I understood his tone, and because I had a weakness for this man, and because I loved him more than a healthy amount, I said "Okay".

Edward helped me clean up the pieces of Angela's coffee table.

"She'll kill me for this, you know." I joked. It seemed strange to be joking about a nervous breakdown he had just had minutes ago but I was. It was the only way I knew how to handle it.

"I'll buy her a new one," was all he said and I knew that he would.

**********************

I braved myself to come back to Edward's apartment with him. I wasn't sure I really had the strength to stay there for the night, but I definitely knew I never had the strength to say no to Edward so when he asked me to come back with him, I reluctantly went.

Something about the apartment didn't smell right. I caught the faintest whiff of a medley of cigarettes and Chanel No. 5. The scent gave me a headache. The apartment didn't really feel right either. I stood in the living room of what once felt like home only to come to realization that I was standing in a foreign land.

"It still smells like her," I said as I sat down on the couch and flicked the television on. I wasn't ready to go to bed yet, for obvious reasons.

"Give it time. It will smell like freesia again." He took a seat beside me and wiped the sweat off his Budweiser bottle with his t-shirt.

"Freesia, huh?" I laughed at the memory of our first kiss in the meadow.

"Yeah."

We sat in silence for awhile. I flipped through channels trying to find something to watch and he drank his beer. He hadn't touched me since we'd left Angela's and I was kind of glad for it. I wasn't sure I was ready for the same hands that had just destroyed a cheap piece of Ikea furniture to touch me. I was still working out the different uses Edward had for his hands. They were beautiful, of course. Every part of him was. I'd seen those hands bring me unimaginable pleasure. I'd seen those hands clutched around another man's throat. I'd seen those hands bang out piece after piece of beautiful music on the piano. And now I'm seen those hands completely destroy something that couldn't defend itself. I wondered for a moment if I'd be destroyed by those hands one day too.

"You ready to call it a night?" Edward's voice brought me back to reality.

"I .. ummm..I .." How could I tell him that I didn't want to sleep in that bed? How could I tell him that, even if he changed the sheets, I would still be able to smell her? How could I tell him that bed really would never be our bed again?

He noticed my hesitation. "You don't have to sleep in my bed. You can sleep in the guest room if you want."

I nodded sheepishly and turned off the television. "Goodnight Edward. I love you." I scooted towards his side of the couch to kiss him on the cheek and did so, ever so lightly. I stood up and started walking toward the guest room before I felt him grab my wrist.

"Wait." I turned around and he was now standing. We were so close and I could feel his warm breath on my face as I looked up into his eyes. He leaned down to my ear and whispered "I love you too Isabella. So so much." He released my wrist and I went to bed.

*********************

I had a hard time falling asleep that night. Six months ago, I would have never slept in the guest room. I would have laughed if someone told me that I'd chosen to sleep here. Since when did I become a guest in my own home?

I was in the moments where you're almost asleep but still aware of your surroundings; where you're in that state of purgatory between the waking world and the dream world. I was just about to slide off into slumber when I heard the door ever so softly crack open. I took a deep breath and I could tell by the scent it was Edward but I was too tired from the emotionally draining day to even lift my head to acknowledge his presence. Then I felt the blanket lift up on the other side and a shift in weight on the bed. I wasn't surprised to find a sturdy arm making its way around me and pulling me in toward the center of the bed. Edward pulled me closer to him.

"I couldn't sleep knowing you were in this apartment and not in my arms," he whispered into my ear.

I nodded. "I'll be the little spoon, you be the big spoon?"

He scooped me up without any further conversation and I drifted off to sleep fairly quickly.

*********************

I woke up the next morning to my phone chiming from my purse. Edward was gone, probably at work. I tended to forget that normal people went to work Monday through Friday. I scrambled out of bed, hoping to catch the phone before it stopped ringing. I grabbed my purse from off the floor and started searching through it for my phone. I pulled out everything you could possibly imagine from the huge bag, everything except for my phone. I could hear it ringing and I could feel it vibrating but I couldn't find it. _Remind me to clean out this purse ASAP._ I made a mental note to myself just as my hand made contact with the phone.

1 Missed Call: Alice.

I climbed back underneath the covers that now smelled like Edward and I called her back, figuring I owed her an explanation. She had probably worried plenty about me.

"Hello?"

"Alice! Hey!" I tried my best to sound happy. I didn't want to start the conversation on a low note.

"Bella! How are you? Have you talked to Edward? He brought some horrid girl to New Moon and I didn't know what was going on with you two. Jasper said I should just stay out of it, but I'm worried Bella. I didn't hear from you all yesterday." And just like that, the conversation did indeed turn to a low note.

"I'm fine Alice." I lied.

"Really? Because Emmett talked to Edward this morning and told him you guys had a huge fight. And of course Emmett told Rose and Rose told me and-"

"Really Alice. I'm fine. Or at least I will be in time. Edward and I will work through this. We always do."

She sighed. "So it seems."

I wanted to lighten the mood but I didn't know what to say. Alice, being the amazing person that she was, sensed this and broke the silence. "So you're still going with him to the Superbowl this weekend right?"

Was I? He hadn't even officially asked me. "I suppose. It all depends on if he wants me there."

"Oh, he wants you there Bella. I know it." There was another awkward silence. "Hey, do you want to do lunch again with Rosalie and I?"

"I actually have to get some work done today before my boss comes to his senses and fires my ass."

She giggled and I wondered how long it would be before I could laugh freely like that again. "Okay, Bella. Well, as always, I am a phone call away. Take care!"

"Bye Alice." I shut the phone.

After my phone conversation with Alice, I decided to shower and the entire time I found myself wondering if Edward had taken Tanya in this shower as he had me just a couple days ago. I wrapped a towel around myself and made my way into the kitchen to scrounge up some breakfast, even though it was already noon. A folded note sat on the counter, my name printed in Edward's beautiful script on the front.

_Baby,_

_I had to leave for work and I didn't want to wake you. I took the Vanquish and left the keys to the Volvo, along with your key, on the coffee table. I hope that you'll be here when I get back._

_Always yours,  
Edward_

_P.S. Promise me you won't try to cook anything?_

I cracked a smile at that last part. I nearly burnt down the apartment the one time I tried to make him dinner and he always made me promise not to cook anything whenever he left me alone after that. I was glad to have that small shred of normalcy back in my life, even if it was a tiny detail.

I settled for cereal and milk, as it didn't prove any sort of fire hazard. I did my best to tame my hair and put on the clothes I'd brought with me. As I made my way into the living room to grab the keys to the Volvo, I glanced at my key to the apartment. I picked it up and absentmindedly dropped it into my purse. I wasn't ready to put it on my keyring just yet. This still didn't feel like home.

I drove to a nearby art museum. There was a new wing opening and I had to write a piece on it. The museum director gave me a guided tour and then left me to my musings. I looked at several of the works, most of them modern and abstract. I stopped at one, as it caught my attention more than the others. It wasn't abstract and it didn't quite fit with the rest of the works but I think that its beauty proved it belonged on the wall beside Jackson Pollock and the like. It was a girl, sitting on a log that had washed ashore on a beach. She was staring out at the ocean and all that was visible was her back. I noticed the grey of the sky and the mahogany of the girl's hair, which was caught in the wind. It reminded me a lot of La Push Beach, from back home. I knew a rock just like it there. I wondered if the artist was a local. I glanced down at the name. James Whittier. I'd file that name away for a later interview.

I reached into my newly organized purse and found my cellphone with ease. The time said 5:32pm. Had I really been here for that long? Edward was probably already at his place by now. I left and made my way back to the apartment.

*******************

I stood at the front door, debating whether or not to knock or just use my key. The last time I used that key I walked in on the most horrific sight of my life. _Man up Bella._ I gave myself a little pep talk before sliding the key in the lock and turning it. Hesitantly, I opened the front door and a strong, familiar smell washed over me as I entered.

Freesia.

"Edward?" I called out but received no answer. I stepped into the living room to find candles lit everywhere. They lined the windowsills, the coffee table, and the armoire that held the television. A small trail of freesia petals led through the hallway into what used to be our bedroom. I stopped dead in my tracks. He couldn't possibly expect me to? No. Absolutely not.

Gingerly, I opened the door to find Edward sitting on a completely new bed. The modest wooden-framed queen size bed that was there before had been replaced with a much larger wrought-iron canopy bed. The comforter was new too, fluffy and white. I stepped into the room, looking around. Not only was there a new bed but all the furniture was completely new. I was in awe. Part of me wondered if a new bedroom set was really enough to fix this, and the other part of me loved the man that sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed for trying.

"I can't take all the credit. Alice and Rosalie helped." He broke my thoughts.

"It's .. Edward .. it's beautiful." I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, but this time, for the first time in a long time, they were from happiness.

"I figured maybe this" he pointed to where he was sitting "could be our bed. A new bed for a new start."

I sat down my purse and kicked off my toes. I made my way over to the bed and crawled up beside of Edward. I laid my head on his lap and stretched the rest of my body out. I felt like I was lying in a cloud or on a marshmallow. It was heaven. Edward softly stroked my hair and stared down at me with such love in his eyes. For once, I was glad those hands were so versatile. I took refuge in those hands. They were the hands of a fighter, the hands of an artist, the hands of a maniac, and the hands of a lover. I closed my eyes and just let the moment soak in.

"Isabella?"

"Hmm?" I said, not wanting to open my eyes because I was afraid the moment would reveal itself as only a dream.

"I have a couple things to ask of you, and if you don't want to, that's okay."

"Ask anything Edward." My eyes stayed closed and he continued to stroke my hair.

"Firstly, will you come with the boys and me to the Superbowl this Saturday?"

"Of course I will. I wouldn't miss you in blue body paint for the world." I smiled to myself and he let out a light chuckle.

"Good. Now this next question may not be so easy."

"I'm listening." I was so relaxed that I was practically melting into his lap.

"Will you move back in with me?" He kept stroking my hair but I slowly opened my eyes.

If living with Edward meant that we could have moments like this, full of love and appreciation, then I'd be a fool to say no. I didn't care that we'd had so many horrid moments here; this moment was a sign of starting over. For every moment Edward had made me cry and scream and hate myself for loving him, they were all worth it right then. And that was all the thinking I needed to do. The answer seemed pretty simple and I don't know why I'd even fought it the first time he asked.

I stared up at him, with more understanding and compassion than I had in all 10 years we'd known each other. I bit my lip, trying to thinking of how I could verbally express what thought had just run through my head. Then I realized I didn't need to tell Edward why I was coming home, because the only thing that really mattered was that I was. I took in a deep, relaxing breath. "Yes."

We sat there like that for an hour or so, totally engrossed in each other, saying nothing but just enjoying the other's company.

"Now," I said with an undertone of lust in my voice "why don't we claim this bed as ours properly?"

* * *

**A/N: Yay for ending on a high note! I was getting tired of the angst, weren't you?**

**Keep in mind this doesn't mean Bella & Edward are living happily ever after just yet, but they are certainly moving in the right direction.**


	8. Healing, Advice, and Strawberries

**A/N: Yay for the longest chapter yet! Your reviews helped accomplish it. (:**

**.twilight asked if Edward's aggressive behavior will ever progress into domestic violence and I could not, in good conscious, let that happen. I want these two to find their happily ever after and if Edward ever hit her, I wouldn't feel right letting her go back to him.**

**DISCLAIMER: Much to my dismay, I own nothing.**

* * *

She came home.

As I held a sleeping Bella in my arms in our new bedroom, I gave thanks to whatever higher power was up there. My Bella was home for good. I'd been a complete ass to her and she forgave me. I didn't know any other woman in the world that would do that. But then again, Bella wasn't just any woman. Bella was perfection wrapped in glowing milky white skin, carnation pink lips, mahogany curls, and chocolate eyes. She was witty and smart and so fucking brilliant. Bella was the only one for me and I was a fool to ever think that I could drown her out with Chanel No. 5.

Alice was a genius and I owed almost all of this to her.

_I was sitting at my work desk that day swamped up to my neck in things to do. Taking a day off when I was in the middle of one of the biggest cases of my career hadn't really been a smart thing to do at all. On top of that, Tanya didn't show up for work. Not that I expected her to after what happened, but it still didn't help matters that I had to answer the phone, watch the door for people coming in, and do my own work for that day and the day before on top of that. Not to mention Bella still seemed pretty upset, which was understandable, but still had me in a rotten mood._

_Emmett called, wanting an update about Superbowl plans, and I had to tell him Bella and I were fighting so I wasn't sure. "I'm not surprised," was all he said._

_When I was about to give up and just crawl under a rock, my cellphone rang with a number I didn't recognize._

"_Hello?"_

_The bright, jittery voice from a couple days ago was on the other end. "Good afternoon Edward! This is Alice, Bella's friend. I hope you don't mind that I called you. I was just talking to Rose who heard from Emmett that you and Bella had a huge fight and well, she's my best friend so I want to help fix things. And don't tell Jasper I called because he told me to stay out of it. And –" The woman was talking at a lightning speed rate._

"_Slow down Alice."_

_I heard her take a deep breath and in a much more calm voice she said "Tell me everything Edward"._

_So I did. I told her about the Jake argument, about Tanya (even though I was embarrassed to admit it), about the ridiculous sex (which was even more embarrassing), and about my temper tantrum. Then I told her how awkward things had been at my apartment. She just listened for forever and never interrupted._

_Finally after I was done, she spoke. "Can I offer you some advice Edward?"_

"_At this point, I'll take any advice I can get."_

"_First off, stop treating my friend like a rag doll." I wasn't expecting her to be so blunt. "Bella's amazing and she can do much better than you so unless you realize what you have and start treating her like she deserves, don't be surprised if someone else comes along and finally does." My hand balled up into a fist at the mention of Bella being happier with someone else but I quickly calmed myself down. "Secondly, Bella will never enter that bedroom again. I know her. She's a proud woman and that bed was her territory. Don't ever expect her to get over that, because she won't." Understandable. I could definitely understand that. "And last of all, if you don't get your temper under control, I will have Charlie in Seattle before you can say 'Chief Swan please don't shoot me and bury my body where it will never be found.'" The pixie had spunk. I admired that and I chuckled._

"_So what do I do?"_

"_Something sincere and from the heart."_

"_Like what? It's not like I can give her a new bedroom or something."_

"_Au contraire sir. You can."_

_With that, Alice was off and making plans for the room. "Bella's out and about all day so just tell me where the spare key is hidden and the room will be ready when you get home from work. Rosalie said she'd help!" She shrieked into my ear and I almost thought I'd gone deaf for a moment." Oh, I'm so excited! She'll love it Edward."_

_After the phone call, I felt much better but having Alice give Bella a new bedroom just didn't seem like enough, even if I was footing what was sure to be a very large bill. Alice had expensive taste._

_I got as much work done as I could on the court case. I put in an ad for a new secretary. I wasn't sure if Tanya had officially quit but if not, I'd obviously have to let her go._

_I left work about 30 minutes before 5 o'clock and sped to the florist. I remembered telling Bella that the apartment would smell like freesia soon enough and I knew if she stayed there long enough, it would. But I wanted her scent to fill the hallways now. I bought every single freesia flower they had in the shop. Next I sped to Target and bought about 20 white candles. If I was going to do this, I'd have to do it right. I wanted to at least have some input on the surprise. I sped, again, back to the apartment and when I got in I headed straight into the bedroom. It was perfect and so utterly and completely – clean and soft and beautiful and Bella. I sprinkled the freesia petals around the living room and down the hallway leading to the bedroom. I light candles all around. Then I sat in the middle of the huge marshmallow bed and waited. I waited in that spot for probably an hour before she came home._

_I would've waited for a year in that spot for her just to see her reaction._

And now she was back. I slept the whole night with a smile on my face because my Bella had her nose nuzzled into my neck and her leg thrown over my waist. It felt like she had never left.

********************

The alarm clock blared at 6:30am, much to my dismay. I didn't want to go to work and I certainly didn't want to leave the warmth of Bella's body. I ever so carefully wiggled my way out of the marshmallow bed, trying not to wake Bella. She stirred anyways and opened her eyes right as I was making my way out the door.

"I'm getting a great view of your perfect ass right now." There was still sleep in her voice.

I turned around to face her. She sat up, holding the covers up to shield her chest. It made me insanely sad that she was hiding her body from me. She'd never done that before. "And now I have an even better view of how happy you are this morning." I looked down and of course, there it was as erect as the Statue of Liberty.

I didn't try to cover myself up. I didn't feel the need. It was hers anyways. I was hers forever. "What are your plans for today baby?" I asked.

"Hmm .." She yawned and stretched her hands above her head, letting the covers fall to her waist and revealing her perfect breasts. I was glad she didn't pull the blanket back up. "I'm thinking I'll move my stuff back home, and then work on my article for the new museum wing."

"Well if you want, I'll drive you to Angela's on the way to work. That way, you can get your truck and use it to move things instead of the Volvo."

She raised one eyebrow at me. "Angela's isn't even on your way. Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Now will you help me with my problem?" I raised an eyebrow back.

"Come here lover boy." She held out her arms.

I glanced at the alarm clock. 6:47am. There wasn't enough time if I was driving her to Angela's too. Shit. "Shower instead?" I asked.

Her expression changed. "Was she in there?"

"No." I answered honestly.

"I just .. I'm not ready to be with you like that outside of our room yet. I don't know where else she's been."

I thought she was being ridiculous. Tanya and I didn't have sex anywhere but in the old bed. But I didn't argue because I was working on compromise and being understanding. "Okay baby." I moved towards her and kissed her lightly before making my way into the bathroom and taking a cold shower. I had to get rid of that morning wood somehow or another.

************************

By 7:30am, we were in the Volvo and on the way to Angela's. I didn't really know what to say to her, which was strange. Conversation had never been a problem for Bella and I. Back in biology, Mr. Banner could never get us to stop talking to each other. People used to hate going to movies with us because we'd always talk the whole time. I couldn't help it if I wanted to know everything that was going on in her head. Her thoughts were so wonderful. Even the occasional silences were had were comfortable. I'd never had to force conversation.

But here we were, sitting in awkward silence as I held my left hand firmly on the steering wheel while placing my right hand on Bella's thigh, only moving it to shift gears.

"You know we still have a lot to work through, right?" I was glad she broke the silence, but I wasn't really too thrilled about the topic she'd chosen.

"I know." And I was hoping she'd drop it. Suddenly, the awkward silence didn't sound too bad anymore.

"I was texting Rosalie yesterday and she knows someone. They'll be able to help us learn to communicate better with each other. They'll help you work on your temper and they'll help us with our trust issues."

I really didn't think I needed therapy. Therapy was for people who were insane, and I most definitely was not. But like I said, I was working on compromise and understanding, so I didn't dismiss the idea just yet. "Uh, do you really think we need that?"

She sighed and looked out the window, watching the passing cars and buildings. "Yes, Edward. I do. I think that if we ever want a healthy relationship, we do need it. It's been so long since our relationship has been in a good place and if we're spending the rest of our lives together, I'd at least like to learn how to communicate with you without having you break furniture."

One part of that little speech caught my attention and a smile spread over my face. "You're sure about spending the rest of your life with me?"

She kept her vision transfixed out the window. "Of course. I could never be with anyone else. There is no one else, there's never been anyone else, and there never will be anyone else."

And just like that, my smile grew impossibly wider. "Then okay. Let's schedule something for next week."

I pulled up outside of Angela's apartment and put the car in park. Bella leaned over the center console and went to kiss me on the cheek. I turned my face at the last instant and caught her lips instead, surprising her. She kissed back, slipping her tongue into my mouth and meeting my own. Suddenly her hands were in my hair and my hands were reaching across the console to her grasp her hips. I slid them further down and then around to cup her beautiful backside. I gave it a quick squeeze and she pulled away. "Easy there lover boy. If we continue, then you will **really** be late for work."

She planted the kiss she'd wanted all along on my cheek and turned to get out of the car. She turned around to shut the door, but poked her head back into the car first. "I love you Edward Masen."

On instinct I replied. "I love you too Bella Swan. But baby, do me a favor?"

She looked on expectedly for me to continue.

"Just don't cook anything without me in the apartment."

She laughed and shut the door. I was happy to hear her laugh like that. It'd been days since she'd laughed that freely around me.

***********************

Worked passed by almost too slowly. Tanya didn't show up again so I took that to mean that she'd quit. I scheduled a few interviews for next week for people to fill her position. All of them were men. I wasn't taking any chances.

At around lunchtime, I couldn't concentrate on anything but Bella. In the hopes of getting any work done anytime soon, I decided just to text her and see how the moving was going.

_I'm thinking of nothing but you. How's the move fairing? – E_

I set my cellphone on the desk beside me and tried to turn my attention to answering my email. A couple minutes later the phone vibrated.

_I didn't realize I had accumulated so much stuff! – B_

_Haha. We'll make room for it. – E_

_Want to meet me for lunch? – B_

I would have loved nothing more but without Tanya here to answer the phone, taking a lunch hour was quite impossible.

_Can't leave the office without someone here. – E_

_I'll bring you lunch then. :) – B_

_Sounds great baby. – E_

I tried to contain my excitement as I finished checking my email.

************************

About an hour later, Bella burst through the door of my office with a wicker picnic basket in her hand, a folded up blanket under her arm, and a smile on her face. She looked like sunshine and magnificence and fuck, I wanted to touch her inappropriately. _Patience Edward. Don't force her Edward. Stop fantasizing about ravishing her on your desk Edward._

"Don't worry. I didn't cook. I made sandwiches and I cut up some strawberries and I brought lemonade. I thought we could have a picnic in your office." She set down the basket in the middle of my office, unfolded the blanket and smoothed it on the floor, then unpacked all the food. I couldn't help but notice the little bounce in her step. She'd thrown her hair up in a pile on top of her head and I could see the scattered freckles on the nape of her neck. When she took off her jacket, her shirt hugged her curves perfectly, accentuating the inward dip in the sides of her waist. She sat down on the blanket and her jeans rode down a little, revealing the small of her back where she had these two little dimples that were sexy as hell.

She noticed my staring and blushed. "Are you planning on eating with me or just ogling me all day?"

I got up from my desk and took off my suit jacket before flinging it carelessly over the back of my chair. I loosened my tie a little bit as I started walking towards the makeshift picnic she'd set up. "Honestly?"

"We are being honest with each other from now on so yes."

"Well, honestly, I'd prefer to skip lunch and just take you on my desk right about now." Her blush increased and I sat down beside of her and leaned close to her ear. "But seeing as how you took the time to prepare all of this, I suppose we can eat first," I breathed into her ear and she shuddered. I was enjoying this way too much.

We ate and made small talk about the Superbowl and how happy Rosalie and Alice were to have found Emmett and Jasper. Bella mentioned redecorating the kitchen, which was strange because we rarely used it. Bella bit into a strawberry and some juice ran down the side of her mouth. She went to wipe it off with the back of her hand but I stopped her. I set down my lemonade and leaned into her. I paused for a second with my mouth inches away from hers then slowly stuck my tongue out, lapping up the juice before planting a kiss on her lips. I pulled away from her and there was a look of desire in her eyes.

She gulped and quietly said "I think I'm done eating now."

A devilish smile spread across my face. "Good." As quick as humanly possible, I picked Bella up bridal style and set her down in my desk chair. I cleared everything off of my desk and then placed her sitting on the edge.

She smiled at me and I parted her legs then stood between them. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close. I began sucking on her earlobe and she moaned out loud. "Now, now Bella. Other people work in this building baby."

"Sorry." She blushed.

I continued my actions moving down her neck, licking, sucking, and kissing. I reached down for the hem of her shirt and pulled the garment off of her. My hands were on her breasts instantly, kneading and squeezing them through her bra. I ran my tongue from her neck down to the valley between her two mounds and back up again. She moaned once more. "Naughty Bella. Am I going to have to muffle you?"

"Yes."

_Was she serious? I mean, I was kidding with her, but would she let me?_ I took off my tie. "Open your mouth baby." I tied it around, making an effective gag. _Sexiest moment of my life._

"Kick off your shoes." And she did.

I moved to undo her jeans and she lifted her hips so I could pull them off of her, along with her panties. She was right where I wanted her. And she was mine, for forever. She'd said so this morning. I wanted to show her just how much she really was mine.

I undid my belt and my pants and let them fall to the floor before stepping out of them. She moved to reach for my boxers but I caught her wrist. "Now, Isabella. Patience is key here." She whimpered. I was enjoying the hell out of this.

I slid two fingers inside her core. She was already dripping wet for me. "You're ready for me, aren't you?" She whimpered again. I started pumping in and out and her eyes fluttered closed as her head fell back. I moved my other hand to her clit, rubbing fast circles and her legs started shaking. It wasn't long before she was clenching around my fingers and then her body tensed up as she fell off the edge. I lifted my fingers to my mouth and licked both of them clean. "Mmmm, so delicious."

I removed the tie. "Now kiss me to show your gratitude Isabella." She threw her arms around me and planted a rough kiss on my lips. Never breaking contact, I slid my boxers down just enough to free my erection. And –

then there was a knock on the door.

"Damn it." I muttered under my breath as she pulled away.

A voice came from the door. "Eddie!" That could only mean one person.

Fucking Emmett McCarthy.

"I'm working Emmett!" I yelled back.

"Fuck that shit dude! I need advice!"

Before I could even respond, the door handle jingled open and Bella leapt underneath the desk to hide. I sat down in my chair to cover up the fact I wasn't wearing any pants.

Seconds later, Emmett charged into the office, not even taking notice of the picnic on the floor, and plopped down in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk.

"By all means, make yourself at home Em." I raised an eyebrow at him, trying my best to play it cool.

"Eddie. I have a problem. I was at the gym today and this gorgeous girl walks in, man. And when I say gorgeous, I mean this chick was a bonafide 10. She had the greatest tits in the world and an ass to die for and –"

"Emmett I don't have all day," I interrupted.

"Right." He pulled himself back to reality and continued on. "So anyways, she starts running on the treadmill next to me .."

I felt Bella's hand grab my cock and I stiffened in my chair. _She wouldn't._ But she did. The little vixen took me in her mouth and started bobbing up and down, sucking, and swirling her tongue on the tip.

My hands gripped the edge of the desk tight and then I remembered that Emmett was sitting across from me still talking.

".. and so I convinced her to blow me in the bathroom. And .. Eddie are you still listening?"

I nodded, afraid of what I would sound like it if I dared to speak.

"Okay, so when we got to the bathroom she got on her knees and I looked down at her and I just couldn't let her do it. Can you believe that? I mean, what the fuck dude? I fucking cock-blocked myself."

Bella cupped my balls in her hands and gave them a little squeeze. My eyes almost rolled into the back of my head but I knew I had to maintain focus on Emmett. I tightened my grip on the desk. _Oh, she would pay for this late_r.

Luckily Emmett was so consumed in himself at the moment that he wasn't being too perceptive. "I think its Rosalie, man. She's gotten to me. I'm no one-woman man Edward. I'm not pussy whipped. That's your thing dude, no offense."

He stopped, waiting for a response from me. Bella breathed warm air on the tip of my cock before taking it into her mouth again. How was I supposed to have a coherent conversation when my girlfriend was giving me the best blowjob I'd ever had underneath the desk?

"Uh .. I .. uh," I managed to get that much out before Bella ran her tongue up and down my length painfully slow.

Emmett didn't miss a beat and kept on going. "Yeah, I know. I mean, I thought eventually I would settle down but why now? I'm not even 30 yet. I've still got at least 3 or 4 more years left of my life. But I guess when you know, you know. Am I right?"

"Right," I uttered out as Bella started sucking me again.

"So I think I'm going to ask Rosalie to stop seeing other people this Saturday at the game. I mean, you've been tied down for 10 years and you're still alive and kicking so it can't be that bad."

I felt a tightening in the pit of my stomach and I knew I was going to come soon. I gulped in an effort to calm myself because I needed to form some kind of articulate sentence. "I think .." *deep breath* "that's a good idea Em."

There. I formed an entire sentence. And then I came in Bella's mouth while she sucked me dry.

"Yeah? Me too. Okay, thanks for the advice Edward." Emmett stood up and turned to walk out, finally noticing the picnic and Bella's purse sitting next to it. He turned back around and cracked me a smile. "Hope you're doing well Bella. Can't wait to see you Saturday."

She giggled. "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it!" she said from underneath the desk.

Emmett gave me a look of approval and mouthed "She's a keeper" before exiting the office. That was no news to me. I'd known she was a keeper when from the time we were 16 but it was nice to have my best friend point it out to me now.

As soon as the door closed, I pushed myself away from the desk and Bella came out from under it with a shit-eating grin on her face.

I got up and walked over to the door, locking it this time. As I started taking slow and deliberate steps toward Bella, I cracked a smile that told her I was up to no good. "Oh, Isabella. You will pay for that baby."

I bent her over my desk and took her from behind. I let her moan and scream all she wanted that time.

* * *

**A/N: So I kind of skidded over the last part guys. So sorry. I just thought this chapter was filled with enough smut already. (;**

**I need some opinions on whether or not to include their therapy sessions. I am hesitant to do so because for one, I have no idea what goes on during therapy and it just wouldn't be too realistic, and two, it might be kind of boring. But I don't want to ignore it all together because therapy is an important part of improving their relationship. So I'm torn here and I want to know what you guys think.**

**Next chapter should include the Superbowl, some fluff, and some lemony goodness.**


	9. Doubt, Dazzles, and HoneyGlazed Chicken

**A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews! It seems to be decided that I'll include what they talk about in therapy but not the actual sessions.**

**I'm getting more and more people putting this on story alert everyday and it makes me smile everytime.**

**Also, I just realized I've set up the Superbowl to take place on a Saturday. Not being a football fan at all (I had to use google to even figure out that the Seahawks were Seattle-based), I didn't realize that the Superbowl always takes place on a Sunday. So in the interest of me not having to go back and fix every mention of the Superbowl, let's just say in this Alternate Universe, the Superbowl takes place on a Saturday?**

**I also didn't get to include the Superbowl in this chapter. (Next one though, I swear!) Bella had other plans. She was in the mood for fluff and so this chapter is fluffier than my pillows. (:**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephanie owns all. I own only my laptop and the clothes in my closet.**

* * *

The rest of the week played out pretty normal. Well, normal as it gets between Edward and I. I still wasn't totally comfortable in the apartment – our apartment. Every once in awhile, this thought would creep up in the back of my mind about if Tanya had used this coffee mug, or if Tanya had laid on this couch, or if Tanya had listened to Edward play his baby grand he had in the office/study. I chalked it up to being paranoid, but the truth was I just wasn't ready to put it all the past quite yet. I was still hurt and I was still hesitant to trust Edward again.

I filled my days with unpacking and settling in while doing research for my article. I was supposed to have it ready to email to the copy editor by Friday, but I wanted to free up my weekend for whatever the Superbowl might entail so I had the article ready to send by Thursday evening. I'd also called to schedule an interview with James Whittier. Turns out he was from Forks too and the painting had been of La Push. I wanted to write an article on his artwork, so we were meeting Monday morning.

*******************

Friday morning my cellphone started ringing. Still in bed, I didn't even lift my head off the pillow before I reached over to the bedside table, fumbled around for a couple of seconds, and then flipped it open before bringing it my ear. There was only one person that'd be calling me this early. Alice Fucking Brandon. She'd been waking me up most mornings via phone call. The pixie never seemed to sleep, or if she did it wasn't much because she was always up at the most ungodly of hours.

"Hey Alice," I breathed into the phone, my eyes still shut. I didn't want to let the light in just yet.

"Bella!" She boomed back. "Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! Happy Friday! What are your plans today? Rosalie & I are going shopping! I need something to wear to the game tomorrow. What does one wear to these sorts of events? Nothing I brought will work and I just don't know what -"

"Get to the point Alice, it's," I glanced at the alarm clock "7:15 in the morning. I need sleep."

"Right. Well the point is do you want to come? I need help picking something out."

I groaned. "Alice, you hate my fashion sense. You say it every time you see me."

"I know. I know. But you're slightly less feminine than Rose and I so I thought maybe you could help me out with what I should wear to an event that isn't really female friendly?"

I tried not to be offended because I knew that was just Alice's way. "Ugh, alright. But can we do it at like noon? I'd like to let the rooster crow before I have to get out of bed at least."

"Okay lazy bones. Call me in a few?"

"Mmhmm." I snapped the phone closed, tossing it back onto the table, and fell back asleep.

*******************

My phone rang again. I glanced at the clock. 9:47am. At least it was a more reasonable hour.

This time, I actually opened my eyes and sat up before grabbing the phone. I glanced at the caller ID and instantly smiled.

"Hey lover boy."

"Baby! I didn't wake up, did I? When I left this morning, you looked so peaceful."

I held the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I stretched my arms above my head and yawned. "Nah. Alice called hours ago. No worries. We're going shopping today."

"Shopping? Bella, you hate shopping." There was a ting of amusement in his voice because he knew how convincing the pixie could be.

"Alice insisted." I shrugged.

"Of course. Well I called to let you know that I'm taking you to dinner tonight so dress nice."

"In the interest of you being the amazing boyfriend you are .." I began.

"Mmmhmm."

"And knowing how I hate surprises and all .."

"Yes?"

"Will you .. tell me where we are going?" I knew he wouldn't but it was worth a shot to ask.

"Not a chance." I could practically hear his cocky smile through the phone.

"Please?" I pouted.

"No way."

"Okay, okay. Fine." I didn't expect him to tell me anyways.

"I should be home from work around 6ish. Be ready then?"

"Kay. I can do that. Love you!"

"Love you too Bella. See you in a little while."

I closed the phone and peeled myself out of bed before heading into the bathroom for a shower.

*******************

Noon rolled around and I was on my way to meet Rosalie and Alice at the mall. I stepped out of my truck in the parking lot and was met by a squeal that should have caused deafness.

"Bella! You're here!" She ran up to hug me, Rosalie trailing behind her.

"It would appear so." I said, trying to calm her down. She finally released me. "Nice to see you Rosalie. I took your advice and made an appointment with Dr. Aro for next week. I think it will really be good for Edward and me."

She smiled. "I'm so glad! After I was," she paused for a moment and then in a small, tiny voice continued on "raped .." Her voice grew more confident. "God it feels so strange saying it out loud. But I'm glad I finally can now. After it happened, Dr. Aro helped me through so much. I just know it will be great for you."

I didn't know much about what happened to Rosalie and I didn't really want to ask. From what Alice had told me once when we were in college, one of her friends had been raped by her fiancé and his buddies and then left for dead. I only assumed it was Rosalie, but I wasn't sure.

"Let's do some serious damage ladies!" Alice interrupted and she whisked us away into the mall.

*****************

I sat down on the marshmallow bed with a Budweiser in my hand staring at the new dress and lingerie that lay out before me. When I told Alice about Edward's surprise, she'd made me buy something to wear. At first I protested, but there's no fighting with the pixie.

I had no idea what Edward had planned but I was anxious for 6 o'clock to roll around. Sometimes Edward's surprises were wonderful, like the new bedroom. Sometimes they backfired, like the time he booked us a hotel room after prom night. I took a long gulp of my beer and remembered my reaction.

"_You thought I'd have sex with you?!?" I sat in the middle of the bed in the penthouse Edward had booked for the night. I was completely dumbfounded and fuming._

"_Well, not so much thought as hoped," he muttered under his breath while he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand._

_He was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, his bowtie undone and lying loosely around her neck, and his tuxedo shirt untucked from his pants. He'd given me his jacket earlier in the night to keep me warm and I'd discarded it on a nearby chair in all my hysterics as soon as we entered the room._

"_Well Edward Anthony Masen. If you think I'm just some cheap whore you can fuck in a hotel room, you have another thing coming! I want you to take me home .. NOW!" I was so angry at him and I didn't want to be around him._

_He sighed, running a hand through his disheveled, copper hair. "Charlie already thinks you're staying with Angela. How would it look if I took you home now?"_

_I stood up from the bed and moved to grab my shoes when I felt his arms wrap around me. "I'm sorry Bella. Let's just .. let's just sleep. We're both tired. I won't try anything again. We can just sleep." He kissed my cheek._

_I gave in, like I always do when it comes to him, and we made our way back to the bed together. Edward took off his pants and shirt, slipping underneath the covers in his boxers. I took off my dress and folded it carefully before placing it the chair with his jacket, leaving me in my bra and underwear. I slipped into the other side of the bed and nuzzled my nose into his neck before throwing my leg over his waist._

_He kissed the top of my head before saying "Bella, I'm never surprising you again."_

_I laughed lightly and leaned up to give him a chaste kiss before drifting off to sleep._

I put my half-empty beer bottle down onto the bedside table and moved to get dressed. I had to hand it to Alice, the girl had style. She picked out a deep blue satin cocktail dress that was strapless and came to just above my knee. It fit tight from the waist up and then flared out a bit. She paired it with matching heels, despite my efforts to convince her that my Converse would have done just fine.

The part I knew Edward would like the most was what was underneath. A strapless lacy blue bra and matching lace thong. He loved blue on me anyways, and Alice assured me this would drive him wild.

Taking one more quick glance into the mirror, I downed the last of my Budweiser before throwing it away and heading to the living room with my overnight bag. I passed the time waiting for Edward by starting to read _Wuthering Heights_ again. I had no idea how many times I'd read it, but it'd been too many to count.

When the front door opened, my heart dropped. I was really excited to see Edward. I stood up and made my way to him, careful to not topple over from the atrocious heels I was wearing. When I reached him, he hugged me and placed a kiss on my neck.

"You look," he eyed me up and down "dazzling."

I laughed and did a little twirl but lost my footing and almost fell. I was lucky Edward was there to catch me. He'd really always been there to catch me. Once I was standing upright again and my familiar blush had subsided I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Do I dazzle you?" I joked.

He smiled the little half-smile that always drove me crazy. "Frequently."

I looked into his jade eyes and I tried my best not to swoon, I really did. But I couldn't help myself. Edward was one of the most charming men I'd ever known. The fact that he'd been my lover and best friend for 10 years didn't waver my fascination with him in the least.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and cleared my throat. "Um, are you ready to go?"

"Yep, let's head out."

*********************

We got down to the parking garage and Edward insisted we take the Vanquish because this was a special occasion. Even though I hated the flashiness of his ridiculously lavish and expensive sports car, I didn't argue. I was beginning to understand that you had to pick your battles when it came to Edward, or really relationships in general. This battle really didn't seem all that important.

We went to a part of town that I'd never been to before and I really was getting curious as to where in the world he could be taking me when we pulled up to a recreation center.

"Uh, Edward?" I was really confused and started chewing on my bottom lip. What about dinner? Why were we here?

He turned to flash me that prize-winning smile again. "Do you trust me?"

What a loaded question.

Did I trust him? I wanted to say that I did, but did I really? I mean, the man had taken my heart and stomped on it repeatedly. Even though he'd tried to fix it, it was now being held together with paperclips, duct tape, apologies, and a new bed. He noticed my hesitation to answer.

"It's a simple question Isabella. Do you trust me?"

I couldn't bring myself to say that I did. At one point, I would have trusted Edward with my life. But now? I didn't even trust him enough to leave him alone in the apartment. I shifted my gaze from the large building in front of us to the gorgeous man sitting in the driver's seat next to me.

I took a big gulp because I wasn't sure if he'd be okay with this answer. "I'm working on it."

He smiled, but there was a ting of disappoint intermitted in it. "I suppose that's really all I can ask of you at this point." He opened his door and before I could even process the poignant interaction we'd just had, he'd opened my door and helped me out of the car.

In an effort to lighten the mood, I tried one more time to get him to reveal the surprise. "So, Edward .. do you mind telling me why we're here?"

He took my hand in his and we started walking towards the recreation center. "Well, remember how you said you wanted to redecorate the kitchen?" I remembered briefly mentioning it during our picnic in his office the other day. He didn't wait for my response before continuing on. "I was thinking neither one of us are particularly great cooks and we don't even really use our kitchen." He opened the front doors to the building. "And, maybe we could learn together."

It was then that it dawned on me that we were in a cooking class. I was elated. Renee really hadn't taught me much about cooking before she died and Charlie had always just ordered us take-out food every night. No one had ever bothered to show me my way around a kitchen, and now Edward was offering to learn with me.

I had to admit, as of late, Edward's surprises were nearing the top of the list of my favorite things.

I took a look at the people around us. There were a few couples just like us, the man no doubt being drug here by his partner. There were some older men in their forties, probably divorcees just having to fend for themselves for the first time. There were a couple girls in their early twenties. Everyone was dressed pretty casually. I glanced down at my dress and Edward's suit. "We're a little overdressed, don't you think?"

He led me to an empty cooking station. "Perhaps. But it's going to be the first time we've cooked a meal for ourselves together. I think that's a pretty special occasion. And, Esme always taught me that you dress up for special occasions."

I smiled at the mention of his mother. After Renee died, Edward's mother became like my own. I always admired Esme for the way that she took care of everyone around her. She had this maternal instinct that just made you feel warm and welcome the minute you walked into her home.

"Hello everyone. Today we're learning how to prepare Spicy Honey-Glazed Chicken with a side of wild rice and tiramisu for dessert." The authoritative voice front the front of the large room gained my attention and I began listening intently.

An hour and a half later, Edward and I were finishing up cooking. I hadn't burnt anything, which I was ecstatic about. We'd been laughing and enjoying each other's company during the time we were waiting on things to cook. Surprisingly, Edward knew a little about cooking already. Apparently Esme had taught him the basic skills so I was happy to have him there helping me. We were finishing up the tiramisu when Edward placed his hand on my shoulder to get my attention.

"This isn't the only surprise," he whispered into my ear. He plated our food and I grabbed a couple glasses of water before walking over in the direction of the tables everyone else was eating at. "Follow me Bella." Edward was heading out the front doors so I trailed behind him, a little confused but curious.

When we got outside, there was a picnic table with two unlit candles sitting on it. Paper lanterns had been strung up around it to illuminate the area. Edward set the plates down on the table then reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter to light the candles. "Alice said this would be a better idea than eating with everyone else. Remind me to thank her later for driving out here and setting it all up."

I'd been standing there with my mouth wide open the whole time, a glass of water in each hand. I was frozen, shocked. Who was this man and what did he do with Edward? Edward was never one for thoughtful gifts. He certainly was never known to plan things out like this. Heck, our first date he just picked me up and we drove around for hours because he hadn't even thought of a place to take me.

"Bella? Is this okay? I mean, I know its cold outside but I have blankets here. We can go back inside if you'd rather -"

I finally snapped out of my shock and set the glasses on the table. "This is perfect Edward."

We sat side by side, snuggled up into one blanket together while eating the meal we'd cooked for ourselves. It was actually really good. I was quite proud. Neither of us said anything, but it was a comfortable silence. When we finished and were cleaning up, my gaze met Edward's.

"This was .. amazing. You have no idea how much it meant to me."

He stared back into my eyes with intensity. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Bella. I hope you know that."

I wanted to believe him. I told myself that I did believe him. But did I really?

We finished cleaning up and made our back to the car. Edward started heading back home and I flicked on the radio to see if I could find something good to listen to.

Nothing.

I dug my iPod out of my purse and plugged it in. I scrolled through and settled on Kings of Leon, but kept it at a low volume in case conversation started. Not that there needed to be any, I was fine just existing in the same vicinity as Edward.

"You know we could do this once every week? We could learn to cook something different each week and pretty soon we'd be pros." Edward sounded excited at the thought of it.

I smiled and stared out the window at the passing scenery. "That would be really great."

The rest of the car ride was silent, except for the occasional comment about how great a song was.

We slept naked and intertwined that night on the marshmallow bed. We didn't have sex, we just drifted in unconsciousness wrapped in the arms of the other.

**********************

For the first time in a week, I didn't wake up to my phone ringing at an indecent hour. But what I was truly happier about was that I didn't wake up alone.

It was almost 9:30 in the morning and I knew we should be getting up to get ready to drive to the stadium, but I looked at Edward and he looked so peaceful sleeping that I couldn't bring it in my heart to wake him. He'd gotten up at 6:30 every morning this week and I wanted to let him sleep in.

The great thing about the marshmallow bed was that I could actually sneak out without being noticed. Every so carefully, I wiggled myself out and put on the first clothes I could find. After throwing my hair up into some messy concoction on the top of my head, I made my way into the living room and grabbed the keys to my Chevy.

A quick trip to the café on the corner and I was back with bagels and coffee for the both of us. I walked through into the kitchen to find Edward rifling through the refrigerator. The memory of Tanya doing the same not even a week ago brushed through my mind and my eyes started to tear up. I set the coffee and the bag of bagels down on the counter and the slight noise it made alerted Edward to my presence.

He closed the door and emerged with a carton of milk in hand and a huge smile. "There you are! I was beginning to worry you'd ran away! And you brought breakfast! God, I love you." His cheerful grin faded when he saw my expression. "Baby, what's wrong?"

I just shook my head and headed down the hallway to the bathroom. I couldn't believe I was freaking out like this. Why was I having a nervous breakdown? Pushing aside the tears, I undressed and got into the shower. I was hoping the water could wash away the memory and bring me a sense of renewal. Just as I was reaching for the soap, I heard the shower door click open.

"Can I join you?" Edward was standing there in his birthday suit looking glorious, as always.

I wasn't sure I had a voice right then so I just nodded in response. He stepped in, closing the door behind him then snaked his arms around my waist from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. "Are you okay Bella? You seem upset. Tell me what I can do it help you."

I broke free of his grip and turned to face him. "I'm not ready to pretend like everything is okay."

He placed his palm on my cheek and stroked it with his thumb. "I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you to love me. Everything else will work itself out."

I took a deep breath. "But that's the thing though. Is love enough? Is it really enough?"

He kissed me, softly and with feeling. It was like he was trying to pour the words he didn't know how to say into that one physical expression of his love. When he released me, I bit my lip and looked for the words to say something, anything.

Edward said something first. "I think it's enough." Then he paused, as if to collect his thoughts. "No, I know it's enough. But only if you believe it is. If you don't believe in us Bella, this won't work."

Edward always seemed to have the right words and I hated myself in that moment for never having them myself. "I believe in you." And I meant that. I believed in Edward. I believed what I felt for him was real.

"Okay." And just like that, I felt my heart start to mend itself just a little bit more.

* * *

**A/N: Review, fave, story alert. (:**

**And let me know if you have any questions. I will tell as much as I can without giving anything away.**


	10. Yelps, Glances, and Blue Face Paint

**A/N: I love you all and am sorry for not updating! I was having trouble getting this chapter out for some reason. I don't know.**

**But yeah, Superbowl. Yay!**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight's not mine. It's SM's.**

_

* * *

Be understanding Edward. This is about compromise Edward. Trust doesn't come easily Edward._

This was the mantra that I kept having to repeat to myself every time Bella would express doubt in me or my feelings towards her. I'd spent 10 years telling and showing this woman how I'd felt, how much I loved and cared for her, and now she was having doubts. I was trying to change, for her. I wasn't stupid. I knew that healing would take time, but I couldn't understand why Bella was fighting it.

When I'd first asked her if she trusted me in the car, it was just a simple question to get her to relax before I took her into the recreation center. But then she hesitated to answer and I was so frustrated with her. I was surprised at myself for managing to calm down and at least pretend that I understood why she didn't.

And then the mishap in the kitchen? She freaked out for no reason. It was starting to feel like I was no longer living with Bella, but instead a complete stranger. The Bella I knew never questioned my love for her. It was always a given, even if I acted like an ass sometimes. She trusted me with her life, and I gladly carried that burden. This was so different and I had no idea how to fix it.

In the shower, she'd said she believed in me. It was a good thing to hear, because I needed Bella to have a little more faith in what we had. I sometimes felt like I was the only one fighting for us, and it annoyed the hell out of me. It started raising doubts in my own mind about how much _she_ really loved _me_, if she wasn't willing to fight for what we had.

****************

As we drove to meet the others at the stadium that Saturday, the silence in the car was tense and uncomfortable. I was hoping for a good day, after all, we had been doing so well yesterday. I'd shown Bella a different side of me, a more vulnerable side and she had accepted it with open arms. I kept my eyes glued to the road and my hands tight on the steering wheel of the Volvo, weaving my way in and out of traffic.

Bella looked out the window, occasionally sneaking a glance my way hoping I wouldn't notice. I noticed. And I had to break the tension somehow, because damn it all to hell, today was **going** to be a good day.

"Emmett's going to ask Rosalie to stop seeing other people today." I said, hoping to spark a conversation.

She giggled and I let out a breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding. "I know. I was there when he told you. Or was it that easy to forget?" She turned her gaze to me and raised one eyebrow.

Truthfully, with all the doubts swirling in the air I actually had forgotten. But the reminder of the memory gave me an instant erection. I took her left hand into my right hand and placed it on my crotch. "Does it look like I've forgotten?"

I had to move my hand to switch gears but Bella kept her hand exactly where I had placed it. "Mmmm, it most certainly does not." She pressed down and I groaned, both at her action and at the lusty undertones of her voice.

"Fuck, Bella." I sounded breathy and desperate, but I kept both hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road.

"You said I'd pay for that, you know."

I gulped. I really knew where I wanted this conversation to go, but I didn't want to jinx it by seeming overly confident. "I did."

And to interrupt one of the top five most erotic conversations of my life, Bella's phone rang. She removed her hand, causing me to groan from the lost of contact, and searched through her purse, finally emerging with it after some rummaging around. I swear that woman kept more stuff in her purse than Mary Poppins herself.

"Hello?" The lust in her voice was gone. "Alice, yeah we're on the way." She paused and glanced over at the speedometer. "Edward's going about 65 in a 35 zone, so we should be there in no time." She was listening intently to whatever Alice was talking about and I saw my opportunity arise.

I slide my right hand onto her knee and gripped it tightly. She turned to smile at me for the seemingly innocent display of affection while mumbling "Mmmhmm" in the phone in response to Alice's babbling. Once she was looking out the window again, still on the phone, I slide my hand slowly up her leg.

She froze.

I grinned.

I braked at a red light and turned to face her, catching gaze with her chocolate eyes. "Payback is a bitch," I mouthed and then smirked at her.

She took a deep breath. "Alice, I have to go. I'll see you soon." But I knew Alice wasn't letting her off the phone anytime soon.

I reached the button of her jeans and flicked it open before pulling down the zipper. The light turned green again and I kicked the gas pedal to the floor, while simultaneously dipping my hand into her pants and below the waistband of her panties. I found her folds, and she was already wet for me.

Upon contact, Bella whimpered. I guess Alice noticed because Bella managed to utter out "I'm fine Alice. I just bit my lip. Continue."

She was forming coherent sentences. That just wouldn't do. I reached a little further down and slid two fingers into her core. This time, she moaned. Alice noticed again. "I .. uh .. I'm fine .. swear."

That was better.

I started pumping it and out slowly and Bella closed her eyes while leaning her head back on the headrest, phone still glued to her ear. If I listened hard enough, I could hear Alice chatting away on the other end.

I picked up my pace. Her posture tightened a little. "Mmmhmm .. yes Alice." She bit her bottom lip. "That's great. I'm so .." I started rubbing circles on her clit with my thumb. "Oh, Edward!" She started clenching around my fingers. Bella came, letting out a loud moan.

I must have had the biggest grin on my face at that moment. I could briefly hear Alice on the other end of the phone, freaking out on Bella.

Bella brought the phone from her ear and hit the button to put Alice on speakerphone, smirking at me.

I removed my fingers and licked them clean, all while listening to Alice's tirade.

"-swear to God Bella. I don't know what Edward's doing right now but you could have just not answered the phone! Jesus H Christ! I call to tell you how happy I am with Jasper and you're on the brink of an orgasm! Is Edward there? Let me talk to him!"

I spoke in the direction of the phone. "Hey Alice." My voice was laced with cockiness.

"Edward Masen! You are turning my best friend into a kinky whore!"

I laughed. "Well Alice, she definitely wasn't on the _brink_ of anything. If you don't believe me, just ask her." I glanced in Bella's direction and she blushed while zipping up her jeans again.

"Ewwwww! Ugh, how far are you guys? We're all standing outside waiting on you."

I glanced at the road sign to my right. _Seahawks Stadium – 5 miles. _"Be there in 2 minutes."

She huffed. "Fine. Bye pervs."

Bella hung up the phone and immediately erupted into a fit of giggles. "She's going to be so mad! I can't wait to see her!"

I laughed along with her and it felt good doing it. Bella was my best friend, my lover, and my companion. If I couldn't laugh with her, who could I laugh with?

We pulled into the stadium parking lot a couple minutes later and Alice practically bombarded the car. The pixie flung Bella's door open and grabbed her out, whisking her away toward Rosalie, who looked like she'd been laughing at Alice's little fit just as much as we had.

I got of the car and walked over to Emmett and Jasper. "Dude, your fiancé's a _freak_." Emmett said, clamping his hand onto my shoulder. His face was painted blue and silver. I wondered if Rosalie was embarrassed to be seen with him. I know I sure was.

"Girlfriend." I corrected. "Bella hasn't agreed to wear the ring again." And I didn't like being reminded of it.

"Either way, man. Damn." Jasper added.

I looked over in the direction of the three women gossiping a couple feet away in the parking lot and beamed with pride at my Bella. It was a pure man moment. Their comments were something only a man could be proud of.

"If we don't get going now, we'll never get them inside." I muttered, making my way over to the chatty females. Jasper and Emmett followed behind me.

I snaked an arm around Bella's waist and lowered my mouth to her ear. "C'mon baby. The game will be starting soon."

*******************

Our seats were amazing. Emmett really outdid himself, but I wouldn't expect anymore from the biggest Seahawks fan I know. He landed a private box for the six of us which had a great view of the field, not that the women really cared. The three of them spent most of the time gossiping about Sex and the City or The View or whatever the fuck it is women talk about, Alice doing the bulk of the talking of course.

At halftime, I saw Emmett whisper into Rosalie's ear and they left the box. I gave Bella a knowing look and she just smiled back. It was about time for Emmett to make a commitment and Rosalie was perfect for him.

"Where are they going? They're going to miss the show!" Alice exclaimed.

Jazz was quick to whisper into her ear what was going on. She nodded and giggled. The pixie was quite giddy over the whole thing.

Bella leaned into me. "I made an appointment with Dr. Aro for Monday at 4pm. You can leave work a little early, right?"

Fuck. I really didn't want to do this. Therapy was for people who had real problems. Bella and I didn't have serious problems like that. Sure, we fought but who doesn't? Why should we pay someone to listen to us talk things out when we could just do it on our own?

But in the interest of avoiding an argument, I figured I'd go once and let Bella see we didn't really need it so she would just drop the subject. "Yeah. I can leave baby."

She kissed me on the cheek and rested her head on my shoulder as the halftime show was starting. Not a second later, Emmett and Rosalie waltzed back into the box - holding hands. I've known Emmett for years and never had I ever once seen him hold hands with a girl. He just doesn't. But damn it, he was. And I was glad.

Leave it to Alice to ruin the moment, of course. "Oh my god! You guys! I am so excited for you!" She practically shot up and took a running leap at a now very startled Rosalie. "Tell me everything Rose! Eeeek!"

Rosalie never let go of Emmett's hand the entire time and just let the pixie have her freak out moment. After Alice had calmed down, Rose kissed Emmett on the cheek, readjusted her hair, and very calmly told Alice they'd talk later.

**********************

Bella and I spent the rest of the game sneaking glances at each other and holding hands like teenagers. Every once in awhile she would use her thumb to brush small circles on my hand and I would shudder. By the end of the game, I was ridden with desire for her. _Hell, I was always ridden with desire for this woman._

Seahawks won of course, 74-62. As we were all making our way back to the parking lot, Rosalie was trying to contain Emmett's shouts of excitement. "Hell yeah baby! Seahawks!" Rosalie looked a little embarrassed as Emmett started running up to random people and giving them high fives and head butts. Alice joined in, because any excuse to run around like a lunatic was good enough for her. Jasper watched the pixie with admiration and I could tell he was really falling for her.

I just shook my head and chuckled a little under my breath at their display. Bella and I walked a few feet behind the four, trying to pretend we didn't know them, hands still intertwined; palms pressed together, fingers laced between the others. I took a look at the woman beside me and I just marveled in her beauty. I was drinking in her smile and her warmth and her essence and remembering everything about Bella that made me love her and only her. She noticed my gawking and stopped walking, turning her head to face me.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it isn't polite to stare?" She winked at me and smiled.

I pulled her close to me and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I love you." I breathed into her ear. Then I kissed her lips once and pulled away so we could catch up to the others.

Bella had other plans. She pulled me back to her and attacked my lips with her own. Now we really were acting like teenagers, making out in the middle of a parking lot filled with people. I heard a couple catcalls and she smiled against my lips at the onlookers. Then, because she was Alice, and because Alice always knew when to ruin the moment, the pixie stalked right up to us and loudly cleared her throat. "Didn't you two get enough of each other on the ride here?"

We broke apart and Bella blushed beautifully. She turned to Alice and giggled. "Nope."

Alice interlocked her arm with Bella's and stole the woman I love away from me, presumably to talk about clothes. I jogged a little to catch up to Jasper, who was leaned against his car still staring at Alice with admiration as she gossiped with Bella.

"So when are you going to ask her?" he said nonchalantly. It killed me how he could be so casual about something that definitely would be a big deal when the topic came up.

"Soon," was all I could reply with. I reached into my left pocket and felt the ring between my two fingers that I'd been carrying around with me every single day since Bella had moved back in. I was waiting for the right moment to ask her to wear it again. I was waiting for the right words to come to me. I was waiting for when I knew she was ready. I didn't want to rush it, but I'm not a patient man. I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with Bella and she knew it too. So why did her wearing a ring or not make much difference? She should have just put it on when she moved back in. Once again, the thought made me feel like she doubted my love for her.

I walked up behind Bella and palmed her delicious ass which elicited a yelp from her, as a beautiful blush spread across her face once again.

"Will you guys cool it with the PDA?" Alice said, sounding a little annoyed at my interruption of their conversation.

I snaked my arms around Bella's waist and kissed her cheek. "Sorry," I shrugged.

A smile spread across the pixie's face as she shook her head and walked towards Jasper and the car, mumbling something about controlling hormones.

"Home?" I whispered into Bella's ear.

"Home," she nodded.

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**A/N: I'm a little frustrated with Edward for thinking Bella can just forgive and forget so easily. Do you guys agree or do you think Bella's being pretty annoying with all her doubts and whatnot?**

**Fave, Story Alerts, Reviews are my favorite. (:**


	11. Showers, Beethoven, and Warmth

**A/N: You guys rock for all of your insight and such. This chapter's pretty slow, sorry. But Chapter 12 should be a much better one. A lot will happen in it. (:**

**Happy reading.**

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What started out with a horrible morning turned into a good day.

Edward and I were reconnecting and I was hoping that with time I could trust him completely again. I was eyeing him the entire game, sneaking peaks at his beautifully angular jaw and my favorite smile that escaped from it. Every time he would brush his thumb against my hand, my heart would flutter. And when he kissed me in the parking lot, I couldn't help myself. I had to feel him right there, in front of all of those people. I wanted to show all of those women gawking at my Edward that he was mine, and that I was his. Forever.

_On my 21__st__ birthday, Edward came to visit me at Washington State so we could go out to celebrate. Emmett and Jasper came up too, hoping they'd find some sorority girls to screw. I warned them to stay away from my sisters, because I knew what dogs those boys could be, even if I did love them to death. I'd never drank before and I was nervous that the boys were going to push me into taking too many shots._

_We walked into the local college bar and I was excited to finally not have to wear those stupid X's on my hands. Emmett and Jasper gave each other a knowing look and headed straight for the bar, leaving Edward and I behind. Edward took my hand and led me through the crowd of people to a barstool where I sat down._

_He took both of my hands in his and stared into my eyes with his deep jade ones. I almost melted in that moment. "What would you like to be your first drink baby?"_

_I thought about it and I had no idea. I truthfully knew nothing about alcohol. But I knew I trusted Edward so I figured he'd know best. "Whatever you think is the best."_

_Edward thought for a moment, kissed my cheek, and turned toward the bartender. "Can I get a Budweiser and a Jack & Coke, please?" He handed me the Jack & Coke and I smelled it. It smelled disgusting and I almost threw up just by that alone. I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. "Just trust me. It's good."_

_That was all the reassurance I needed. I closed my eyes and took the first sip, and damn it, it was good. I chugged the rest down greedily as Edward chuckled a little. "I guess we found something you like. Another one then?"_

_I nodded._

_Four Jack & Cokes later, I was feeling pretty wobbly. Edward had been drinking pretty slowly, I guess in case he needed to take care of me. I tried to stand to go find Jasper and Emmett but was surprised when I almost fell down. Before I had the chance to register why I couldn't walk, Edward's arms were around me and his hot breath was in my ear. "Easy now Bella. Take a deep breath and then find your footing before you go traipsing through a crowd of people."_

"_I love you so much," I slurred out. As I finally got the chance to stand up, I surveyed the bar for Emmett and Jasper when I noticed a frizzy redhead practically having sex with Edward through her eyes. I glanced back at Edward, who was completely oblivious to what was going on and then back to the redhead. She was making her way through the crowd for Edward. My Edward. Mine. Couldn't she tell he was with me? In my inebriated state, my only thought was "Show her he's yours". I swiveled around, grabbed Edward's face in my hands, and planted a rough kiss on his lips. He reacted, pulling me closer to him and darting his tongue into my awaiting mouth. His hands found their way to my bottom and gave it a quick squeeze before he broke away._

_He was breathing heavily and he closed his eyes to calm himself down. He rested his forehead against mine. "Not that I complaining or anything, but what was that for?"_

"_Because you're mine." I smiled. He had no idea about the redhead, not that he needed to. The insecure part of me didn't want him to know that other women desired him so much._

"_Fair enough." He kissed me again and we stood there making out in the middle of a crowded bar for hours._

******************

When we returned home, I sat down on the couch while Edward went into the kitchen. I turned on the TV and propped my feet up on the coffee table. I felt myself yawn and my eyes began getting heavy. It'd been a long day and I was exhausted.

Edward returned to the living room with a Budweiser in his hand. "Do you want one baby?" He held up the beer as a gesture.

I yawned again. "No thanks. I'm kind of sleepy. I think I'll shower and head to bed."

Edward sat down on the couch beside of me and leaned his head on my shoulder. "I'm going to watch the highlights while you shower and I'll meet you there."

I kissed his forehead and made my way to the shower. The warm water felt nice against my tense shoulders. I'd never carried this much tension in my muscles and it was killing me.

As promised, Edward was waiting in bed for me when I went into our bedroom. He was propped up against the headboard and looking over some work stuff, which was unusual because he didn't normally work on the weekends.

"Do you have to go into the office tomorrow?" I asked as I lifted the covers to join him in bed.

"No. Just wanted to make sure I'd be able to leave early Monday for our appointment."

I smiled. He really was making an effort. I laid my head down on the pillow and turned on my side to face him. "Edward?"

He didn't look up from his papers. "Hmmm?"

"Thank you." I whispered.

He set his papers down on the bedside table and scooted down to place his head on his pillow. He pulled me closer to him and I nuzzled my nose into his neck then threw my leg over his waist.

"Bella, I would do anything for you." He whispered back.

I drifted off to sleep fairly quickly.

****************

Sunday morning, the sun peaked in through the curtains all too early. My phone started ringing and I just knew it would be Alice. I moved to get up and go find it but Edward pulled me back. "Don't answer it," he groaned out.

I laughed. "If I don't, she'll keep calling."

"Damn pixie," Edward muttered with his voice still full of sleep.

I pulled away from him and grabbed my purse off the floor, searching through it for my cell phone. The ringing had stopped, but then it started again after a couple seconds. I finally found it and pulled it out, flipping it open in the process.

"Hey Alice." I snuggled back in against Edward with the phone still attached to my ear.

"Good morning sunshine! I trust you had a good night! I'm leaving tonight, you know? I have to get back to Chicago and pack up my things. Oh, I have so much to do! Rosalie's taking me to the airport around six so I have to see you before then. And oh my gosh –"

"Did you just say pack your things? Where are you going Alice?"

"I'm moving here silly! Rosalie's letting me move in with her. I'm so excited! I looked at buildings the other day to open a boutique and there's this perfect one that's only five minutes away from her apartment. Jasper doesn't know I'm moving yet. Don't tell him. It's a surprise! I'm telling him today!"

I looked at the clock. 8:52am. "I'm happy too Alice. But can we talk about this at a more reasonable hour?"

"Oh, I should've known lazy bones. Sure. Call me when you're up? We have to see each other today!"

"Okay. Bye Alice." I hung up the phone and flung it onto the bedside table. "Alice is moving here."

Edward pulled me impossibly closer to him and kissed my forehead. "Then we better enjoy all the PDA we can before then."

I reached up to catch his lips in a kiss and succeeded. Edward snuck his hand down to the side of my stomach and started to tickle me. I erupted in a fit of laughter. "Edward .. I can't breathe!" *gasp* "Stop!" *laugh* "Edwarddddd!"

He finally stopped and I realized he was now straddling me, effectively pinning me down with both my arms caught above my head and captured in one of his beautiful hands. The playful smile on his face faded and desire filled his eyes. He leaned down and kissed me hard. It was full of want and hunger and lust. The kiss alone had me dripping wet for him already. I darted my tongue into his mouth as I pushed him over so I could climb on top of him.

20 minutes later, we were still making out on the marshmallow bed and it was getting pretty heated. Edward pulled away and got out of bed.

I didn't want him to. I wanted him to continue to devour me. "Come back?" I breathed.

He held out a hand to me. "Shower?"

I thought about it. Could I? Was I ready for that? I truly didn't know if I'd start to freak out or not but I was willing to try for Edward.

I nervously chewed my lip for a couple seconds before I nodded in concurrence. I slipped my hand into Edward's and he led me into the bathroom, stopping to pin me against the wall halfway there and ravish my mouth.

Once we made it to the bathroom, Edward let go of my hand and turned the shower on. I began to undress myself. I had stripped down all the way to just my panties when I felt his brawny hand catch my wrist. "I want to do that part."

I smiled and raised my hands in surrender as Edward hooked two fingers into the sides and pulled them down, lowering himself with them. I stepped out and kicked them to the side into the pile with the rest of my discarded clothing. Then Edward did something he'd never done before.

He kissed my feet, first the top of the left, then the top of the right. Then he kissed my left ankle followed by my right. Then my left shin and my right shin. He continued all the way up my legs until he came to the place that I needed him most.

His jade eyes looked up at me and this time they were filled with love. "I'm going to worship every part of you Isabella. I love you." And with that, he ever so gently lifted my right leg and placed it over his shoulder before giving my clit one slow, wet lick.

"I love you too Edward!" I gasped at the sensation.

He was licking and sucking and lapping away as I let my eyes close and my head fall back. I fisted my hands into his hair and held on tight. I could feel myself nearing the edge when I felt his fingers, first just one and then a second enter me. "Edward!" I was getting loud now and I'm sure the neighbors could probably hear me. I'm not ashamed to say that it turned me on even more. And just when the tightening in my lower stomach began to intensify Edward stopped, leaving me unsatisfied, something he's never done before.

I was breathing heavily now as he looked up at me with a smile on his face. "You stopped." I pouted and stuck my lower lip out.

Edward just smiled even bigger and stood up, letting his hands trial up and my sides and eventually cupping my face. "Patience." He kissed me once softly before shedding his boxers and pulling me into the shower. That's when I realized this wasn't about finding release. This was about sharing each other and being together in a way I had only ever been and could only ever be with Edward. This was about connections and touches and the meshing of bodies. This was love and the most primal, physical expression of it.

We made love and I didn't cry or freak out or regret it because this was our shower, this was our apartment, and this was us.

********************

"Bella!" Alice bombarded me at the doors to Jasper's restaurant. The six of us were all having an early dinner that Sunday before Alice went to the airport. For such a small girl, Alice was incredibly strong.

"Alice. Can't. Breathe." I managed out before Alice released me from her death-grip hug.

"Oh! Sorry! I was just excited!" She grabbed my hand and I grabbed Edward's as she led us to a table near the back of the restaurant where Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were already seated. "They're here!" The pixie announced our arrival and then scooted into the booth next to Jasper as he draped his arm around her.

The entire scene was a sight to behold. I'd known Jasper longer than Edward had honestly. Jasper was my first new friend I made in high school and before Edward moved to Forks, he was the only boy I'd ever kissed. It was an awkward first kiss and we realized we felt nothing, but Jasper always put me at ease somehow. He had a way of calming me. Still, he was a dog when it came to any female but me. He treated them like possessions that could be thrown away. To see Jasper make an effort to have Alice closer to him was something I thought I'd never see. I was happy for my friends and the love that they'd found.

Edward and I slid into the booth as well and I began perusing the menu for something good to eat. Everyone was chatting amongst themselves as the gorgeous man leaned into me and I could feel his warm breath on my ear. Shivers ran up my spine and I closed my eyes to try to contain myself from tackling him right there in the restaurant in front of God and my friends and the general public of Seattle. "I'm thinking red wine?" he whispered to me. I nodded.

The waiter came and took all of our drink orders. Edward, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, and I all ordered red wine. Emmett ordered a scotch on the rocks. Rosalie sent him a death glare. "Em, it's only three in the afternoon."

Emmett shook his head and let out a chuckle. "Baby, its five o'clock somewhere."

Rosalie's icy expression faded and she started laughing along with the rest of us. The rest of the meal was filled with chatter about the Superbowl and the latest scandals in Hollywood. Edward kept a hand rested on my knee most of the time and I loved how he always found a way to touch me and let me know I was his no matter where we were.

I pulled out my cellphone and checked my watch. We'd been there for over 2 hours and Alice's flight would be boarding soon. "Guys, it's 5:20." I reminded everyone that Alice had a plan to catch and we all said our goodbyes before going our separate ways. Jasper looked sad as he held Alice's hand and jumped into the back on Rosalie's BMW with her. I guess she hadn't told him that she'd be back in a week yet and I wish I could have been there to see the look on his face.

Edward grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine, and led me to the Volvo. He opened my door for me and I climbed in. As he was about to start the car, his phone beeped. He pulled it out of his pocket, checked the message, smiled and shook his head, typed something back, and then set his phone in the cup holder.

"What's that all about?" I asked.

He started the car but didn't pull out of the parking lot yet and gestured at the phone for me to pick it up. I scrolled to the top of his inbox and saw a message from Alice.

_Bella is my best friend. Break her heart again; I will break your face. – A_

I laughed a little. The pixie should had a lot of fire in her. Then I went to his outbox to see Edward's reply.

_You have nothing to fear Alice. I want to marry Bella if she'll still have me. – E_

I looked up from the screen with tears in my eyes. Of course I'd still wanted to marry him. The thought of anything different hadn't ever crossed my mind, even when I spent six months crashing on Angela's couch or when I saw Tanya wearing his shirt and rifling through the refrigerator.

I glanced over at Edward who was now fidgeting my ring in his hands and I could tell he was nervous. His gaze was intent on the diamond as he pondered what to say. I wondered if he'd been carrying it around with him all this time. Knowing Edward, it'd probably always been in his pocket and he was waiting for a good moment to give it back to me.

He finally looked up from the ring and locked his gaze with mine. His jade eyes were just as watery as my own brown ones. He took a deep breath and then he spoke in the most calm, velvety, deep voice.

"I've been turning these words around in my head for a week now Isabella and I wanted this moment to be perfect. But then I realized, the perfect moment was never going to happen and I think that's been my problem all along. I've been trying to convince myself that we're the perfect couple when what I really should have been thinking about was how we're perfect for each other. I could never imagine sharing my life with anyone else but you. Please say that you'll marry me?" He held the ring up and I noticed an engraving on the inside.

_Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours._

If I wasn't crying before, I surely was now. I wanted to speak but I couldn't even formulate a sentence. As if Edward's words weren't enough, he'd used Beethoven's to seal them. I closed my tear-filled eyes and nodded my head. Edward took my hand and slid the ring onto my finger. He pulled me close and kissed both of my tear soaked cheeks before kissing my lips.

Finally I found my words. "I love you."

He wiped my tears away. "I love you too Bella."

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	12. Fantasies, Therapy, and Spilled Java

**A/N: So this is super duper short. I mean, like really short. And I'm sorry guys. It's been a rough week for me and I'm having a bit of writer's block. Even this much was really hard to get out. I'm hoping that Chapter 13 will come to me a lot more quickly and it will be a lot better.**

**I want to thank each and every one of you for your reviews. They mean the world to me.**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph owns all things Twilight. And my soul.**

* * *

Monday morning was bittersweet. As I pried myself out of Bella's arms before the sun was even up, I groaned at the realization that we had to go see that ridiculous shrink that afternoon. Then, I noticed the ring on Bella's finger, back where it belonged and looking like it never even left in the first place, and I realized it was all worth it. I'd do anything to be with this woman. I'd swim through shark infested waters. I'd climb Mount Everest barefoot. I'd run through Times Square in my birthday suit if she asked me to. Therapy was the least I could do after all I'd done to her. I owed my future wife that much.

I got to the office and greeted the person I hired to take Tanya's position. His name was Laurent and he was well-qualified for the job. More importantly, he was a man and posed no threat whatsoever to Bella's happiness. I looked over some work and answered a few emails. The day was passing by so slowly and I wished Bella would pay me a visit like last week. My dick twitched at the thought of it. Her mouth wrapped around me, taking me all in, and then my release sliding down her throat as she hungrily gulped it all down.

I needed to stop fantasizing or I'd never get any work done. I had to be in court tomorrow for the Uley case and since I was leaving work early today, I didn't have any time to waste. At about noon, Sam came in to finalize everything for court tomorrow. I didn't enjoy representing guilty clients such as him, but it was the highest paying case I'd ever taken on. Sam Uley had murdered his wife's lover in cold blood when he discovered them in bed together. It was my job to make the jury believe he hadn't done so. As much as it played with my conscious to do so, I could see where Sam was coming from in all of this. If it had been Bella with someone else, I would have killed the fucker too.

And just like that, my thoughts were back on my future wife. Bella wearing a white gown and beaming as she walked down an aisle lined with our closest friends and family towards me. Bella with a swollen belly and my hand placed over it as I felt our first child kick. Bella and I watching our grandchildren play in the front yard while we sat on the porch of our home in a swing, hands intertwined.

I was becoming such a girl. Geez. _Masen snap out of it._

At about 3:00pm, my cell phone vibrated from my desk. I checked the Caller ID. Bella.

"Hey baby."

"Lover boy! I was just making sure we're still on for our appointment?"

Maybe she was giving me an out. Should I take it? No. I had to man up. I put on my most enthusiastic voice. "Of course. I was just finishing up a few things and then I'll be on my way. Meet you there?"

"Sounds great Edward! I'll see you there. I love you."

"Love you too." I hung up the phone, checked my email one more time, and then grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair and made my way out to the Volvo, checking to make sure Laurent could hold down the fort for the last hour of the day.

As I pulled up to the office, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I was doing this for Bella. _Here goes nothing._

****************

"You have got to be kidding me Isabella! That guy was a quack!" I marched into the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator. I grabbed a Budweiser, popped open the top, and gulped the entire thing down. I threw the bottle in the trash and grabbed another one before slamming the door closed.

Bella stomped into the kitchen after me. "Oh yes, Edward. Let's drink all the beer in the fridge. That will fix everything."

I opened the second beer and threw the top onto the counter, gave Bella a smug look, then chugged half of it.

"Sometimes you can be so infuriating. You know that?" She huffed at me and turned on her heels before walking into the living room and flipping the TV on.

I followed after her, half empty beer still in my hand. "You know what's infuriating? I'll tell you what's infuriating! Being blamed for all of our relationship problems by someone who's known us for thirty fucking minutes, that's what!"

"Well at least now you're admitting we have problems." Bella was sitting on the couch flipping through channels and she seemed way too calm and uninterested in the conversation. Why was I the only one yelling here?

I walked over to the TV and shut it off before standing in front of it.

She groaned. "You cannot be serious right now."

I took a deep breath because I didn't want to yell anymore. "Oh Bella. I'm very serious. We're not going back there." I turned to walk down the hallway but I stopped mid-step. "And I do **not** have anger problems."

As I walked down the hallway and towards the bedroom I heard the television switch back on. I took a shower and read for awhile but by 10:00pm when Bella didn't come to bed, I gave up and turned out the lights.

She never did come to bed that night and I hated sleeping alone, but I knew I was right. Dr. Aro had spent an hour telling me I had problems controlling my temper and that I didn't trust Bella. He accused me of being overly-possessive and advised me to seek anger management counseling. This guy was such a whack job. Sure, I got angry but who doesn't? It took everything in my power not to tell the prick to fuck off.

And this is why I didn't want or need therapy in the first place.

***************

I woke up alone Tuesday morning and I wasn't surprised. When I made my way into the kitchen to brew coffee, I saw her asleep on the couch. She looked beautiful, but cold. I retrieved a blanket from the linen closet and draped it over her, tucking it in on the sides. I lightly kissed her forehead and hoped she'd forget all about this therapy thing. I know I was ready to forget about it.

I got dressed quickly and returned to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. As I reached for a mug from the cabinet, I accidentally knocked a couple of the ceramic ones over. The clanking caused Bella to stir and I prayed she wouldn't wake up. I really didn't want an argument.

But of course, an argument was what I got.

"Edward. Honestly. The least you could do is let me sleep after the way you acted yesterday." Bella was now sitting up on the couch, moving her neck from side to side in the effort to work out a crick.

I poured a second cup of coffee and brought it to her. "I'm sorry love." I set the mug on the coffee table in front of her and took a seat next to her on the couch.

She took a sip and closed her eyes to savor the taste. "Sorry for what?"

"Waking you." I scooted closer to her and moved to put my arm around her when she dodged it and moved toward the other end of the couch, curling up her legs underneath her and continuing to sip from the mug.

"That's all your sorry for?" She didn't as much as glance in my direction.

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to discuss this right now. "Yes, Bella. I have nothing else to apologize about."

"How about acting like an immature child? Or refusing to work on our relationship? If I mean as much as you say I do to you, why wouldn't you be willing to have anger management counseling? Dr. Aro didn't place all the blame on you, you know. We both have a lot to work on. I'm willing to work on my issues, but you're not. If you can't –"

"I do not have anger issues!" I cut her off and the volume and tone of my own voice frightened even me.

Bella finally looked at me. "You've just proven my point."

I slammed my mug down on the coffee table and the hot liquid went flying everywhere. It was aggravating always being accused of being angry. I was tired of having to defend feeling like I felt. If I was upset by something, why couldn't I show it? Why did I have to hold it in? If I felt like breaking a coffee table or slamming down a mug or yelling every now and then, was it really a problem? No.

"Isabella." I stood up from the couch and moved to grab my laptop case. "I'm not discussing this any further." I said through gritted teeth. I slung the bag over my shoulder, grabbed my keys, and slammed the front door shut as I left.


	13. Towels, Advice, and Lullabies

**A/N: I've been gone for way too long. I know. I've been writing FAT political science papers instead. Good news? It's summer vacation, which means plenty of updates for this and Baby Sister.**

**If you need a brief summary of what's happened up to this point to refresh you, PM me and I'll send you one.**

**Happy Reading!**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph owns all.**

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"Damn him," I muttered under my breath as I knelt down to clean up spilt coffee. Edward had slammed his mug down and it went flying everywhere before he stormed out the door this morning. I suppose I could have just kept my mouth shut this morning and let the events of yesterday go, but that wouldn't have solved anything. If I was going to marry Edward, he needed to work on his anger.

Case in point: broken Ikea, spilt coffee, constant yelling, revenge sex with Tanya…I could go on, but I'd be naming things all day.

I recalled sitting in Dr. Aro's office yesterday afternoon and it made me even angrier as I grabbed more paper towels to clean up Edward's mess.

"_It seems to me that you, Isabella, have major trust issues now and that you, Edward, have major anger issues," Dr. Aro said as he looked up from the yellow legal pad he'd been scribbling notes on._

"_I don't have anger issues," Edward said through gritted teeth._

_I sarcastically huffed. That was a blatant lie._

"_Do you have a comment Isabella?" Dr. Aro probed._

_I was hesitant to say anything because I knew Edward would not react well if he felt like we were ganging up on him. I took a deep breath. "I don't know. I guess sometimes it feels like Edward can't really control his temper and he just lashes out without thinking."_

"_That's ridiculous. Bella, you just assume that every time I raise my voice it means I'm angry."_

_I could tell Edward was getting upset so I wasn't going to say anything else. Sometimes, it's better to just leave well enough alone, but Dr. Aro kept prying._

"_Edward, maybe the reason Isabella has trouble trusting you is because she's afraid you will lash out in a destructive manner if something were to go wrong with your relationship. All relationships have bumps in the road, it's about learning how to grow from them in a constructive manner." Dr. Aro then went on to explain methods Edward could communicate with me in a better way._

_It ended up with Edward storming out of the office and me apologizing to Dr. Aro profusely for his behavior._

It's days like these that I wonder if things will ever truly work with Edward. It's kind of like dating a five-year old sometimes, with the way he throws tantrums and whatnot. As I finished cleaning up the mess, I knew exactly who to call and what to say.

"Alice? I know it's early there. You're behind 2 hours, right? Sorry to wake you, but I need advice."

Alice yawned. "It's fine Bella. What's up? Is everything alright there?"

"Well, kind of." I hesitated. "Not really. The appointment with the therapist didn't really go as planned. Edward kind of got upset when we brought up his anger issues and we've been fighting about it ever since."

"I see." Alice paused as if she was pondering something. "Well he definitely needs some kind of help handling his anger, but of course he will never admit that. We just have to find a way to help him without actually appearing to help him at all."

I was confused but I knew the pixie had something in mind. She was always great at thinking outside the box. "Any suggestions on how in the world I'm going to do that?"

"I know this many sound stupid, but bear with me here Bella. Apologize. Admit you were in the wrong, even though you're actually not. Tell him you'll never make him go back to that therapist again. Next time he gets angry, try something you think will calm him down. If that doesn't work, keep trying different things until one does. Once we find what calms him, everything will be smooth sailing from there."

I thought about that. What calms Edward? Sex calms Edward, but I wasn't exactly trying to whore myself out for the sake of peace. Music calms Edward. More specifically, creating music calms Edward. He was always really wonderful at piano back in college, but he never plays anymore. A brilliant idea dawned on me. "Alice, I think I've got it. Thanks so much for your help! I have work to do! I'll call you later, promise."

"But Bella, I haven't even told you about this magazine article I read the other day about how orange is the new black and we definitely need to go shopping when I get back to Seattle. Pronto. And oh my gosh –"

I had to cut her off or she'd go on forever. "Alice, we can shop for whatever you want but I need to make a run to the music shop."

"Okay, okay. Good luck Bella!"

"Bye Alice. Thanks again for all the help."

I had the best idea in the world. I was going to buy Edward a baby grand piano.

I went to the music shop and looked around. I had to find the perfect one. I looked at several different baby grands, and then there it was. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was so incredibly Edward.

"Alright Miss Swan, where would you like this delivered to?" the shop owner asked me.

I told him the address and asked if there was any way it could be delivered before 5pm today. Edward would be off work around that time and I really wanted to surprise him today.

"We can do it today, but it will cost a little extra."

"That's perfectly fine." I just wanted that piano in the apartment today by five.

I passed the rest of the day by doing some writing for work and clearing room for the piano in the guest room. At around 4:30pm, the movers came with the baby grand and set it up for me right where I'd wanted it. I'd bought Edward some blank sheet music for his compositions that I placed in the music stand for. Before I knew it, Edward was home.

He walked in looking exhausted and headed straight for the fridge. He grabbed a beer and plopped down on the couch before turning the television on. I didn't really know how to start this conversation. Truthfully, I was a little afraid to approach him. I timidly sat down on the couch beside of him, not saying a word and staring at the TV as he flipped through channels with the remote.

"Edward?" My voice was shaky and uncertain.

"Yes? He didn't even look at me. He must have still been upset from this morning. "I see you cleaned up my mess. Thanks, by the way. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to. I also wanted to apologize for earlier. I was wrong to come at you like that. I got you an apology gift. It's in the guest room."

Edward laughed and finally looked in my direction. "You getting me gifts? This is new."

I nervously giggled and looked down at the floor. "Yeah, but it was about time it happened."

"So should I take a look now?" Edward placed his finger under my chin and lifted my head so that I could gaze into those beautiful green eyes.

I nodded my head.

Edward grabbed my hand and led me to the spare bedroom, where I had removed the desk and replaced it with the baby grand. His eyes grew in disillusionment when he first saw it.

"Bella, this is too much. I can't accept this. You can't afford this."

I smiled. He liked it. "It's just enough. You can accept it. And you let me worry about my money."

He let go of my hand and approached the piano slowly. He sat down on the bench and played a few notes then looked over at me. "It's beautiful." His voice was full of amazement.

I giggled. Now he really did remind me of a little boy. This was like Christmas morning or something. I walked over and sat down next to him on the bench. "So you like it then?"

"Baby, I love it. I love it so much." He kissed me hard, like it was the only way he could truly show me how much he loved it. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I thought maybe when you were feeling stressed or upset or anxious or whatever, you could just compose. Just whatever you feel, turn it into music."

He smiled as he played a couple rogue notes. "Have I ever told you I love you?"

"A couple times," I joked. "I'll leave you two to get acquainted." I gestured at the piano.

I don't know how long Edward stayed in there playing that thing, but it had to have been hours. As much as I was enjoying the music permeating through the apartment, it was getting late and I had to get to bed. I had been writing more for work but the words were starting to run together and I needed to get some sleep.

I peeked my head into the guest room to see Edward scribbling down some notes onto the music sheets. I cleared my throat to let him know that I was there. He looked up at me.

"I'm going to bed now, want to join?"

"Absolutely. Give me 5 minutes and I'll be there. I just want to finish this. I feel so alive, Bella. I feel so vibrant."

He looked so happy. I couldn't bear to rush him. "Stay in here as long as you want. You know where I will be when you're done."

"The music won't wake you?" he asked.

"No. If anything, it's like a lullaby."

And it was indeed that. I slept like a baby that night.


	14. Sleep, Laughter, and a Personal Day

**I know you all are probably frustrated as hell with me. I wish I could say I haven't updated because I've been working on some grand masterpiece of a chapter, but that isn't the case. This chapter doesn't really do a whole lot for plot development and it's mostly a lot of fluff. It's also pretty damn short, so I'm sorry.**

**I'm going to try to get back on the horse. I want to finish this thing.**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph is the best and these are her characters. I just get them into crazy situations.**

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I have no clue what time I ended up going to bed, but it had to have been some time early in the morning. I stayed up playing that baby grand for hours and by the time I crawled in next to Bella, the sun was starting to peak up from the horizon. She didn't even stir as I lifted the covers and slid myself in. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful.

The next morning when my alarm clock blared at 6:30 in the morning, I definitely regretted staying up so late. I pried myself out of bed, trying my best not to wake Bella. I didn't succeed.

"Edward," she mumbled. "It's so early."

I leaned over the bed and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm sorry babe. I have to work today." I started to head towards the bathroom to take a shower but I felt Bella lightly grab my wrist. She hadn't even opened her eyes yet. Her hair was a beautiful mess on top of her head and she had on one of my white undershirts.

"Can I come?" she asked, ever so slightly opening one eye but not far enough to let any light in. It was quite adorable, the way she was squinting to avoid actually waking up.

I chuckled a little. "Of course you can, on one condition."

She stretched her arms above her head and decided to open her eyes. She made this face in regards to the sunlight that had begun to peak through the curtains where she wrinkled her nose and then she put the pillow over her head. Again, it was quite adorable. "What condition?" Bella asked from underneath the pillow. Her voice was muffled and it was so cute.

"Shower sex." I cocked an eyebrow, hoping that would be a yes.

She sat up straight in bed, not even caring about the light anymore. "Edward, it's not even 7am yet. I haven't had any coffee. I'm not awake before 9. As far as I'm concerned, God isn't even awake before 9."

Again, so fucking cute. "Alright, alright, alright. I completely understand."

"Good," she said as she lay back down and placed her head under the pillow.

I waited for her to get comfortable. "A shower blowjob then?"

"EDWARD!" She threw the pillow at me as I scampered out the room and into the hallway. I couldn't stop laughing.

While I was in the shower, my mind kept racing about this piece I had started composing last night. I wanted to finish it right now. I felt compelled to keep playing, perhaps because I just hadn't played in so long or maybe it was because of my inspiration for the piece. My inspiration was lying in that bed in there wearing my white shirt and she was mine. She was all mine. How could I have been so stupid to think otherwise? It became clear to me that there really wasn't anything in the world Bella wouldn't do for me. I mean, what kind of woman just up and decides to buy you a baby grand after you yell at her and leave her alone in your apartment with spilt coffee? My Bella. That's who.

I put on my suit, brewed a cup of coffee for the drive, grabbed my laptop case, and was about to head out the door when I suddenly had a better idea. Laurent, my new assistant and Tanya's replacement, had been working there for long enough now that I felt comfortable with him handling things for the day. I double-checked my schedule and made sure I didn't have anything important going on. I called Laurent's cell phone.

"Hello Mr. Masen," Laurent answered. "I didn't realize I was late. I'm on my way right now."

"Oh no Laurent. You're not late. I just wanted to let you know I will be taking a personal day today. I'd still like you to come in for a little while in case anyone calls. I don't have any meetings today, but if someone calls for me just take a message. In the case of something urgent, you have my cell phone number. You can leave around two this afternoon."

"You got it Mr. Masen," he replied. "Enjoy your personal day."

"Thanks. You can call me Edward, you know." I was put off by his intense formality. Of course, considering I slept with my last assistant, maybe formality was a good thing.

"Okay Edward. I'll call you if something urgent arises."

"Thank you. Goodbye Laurent."

I hung up the phone, loosened my tie, and put my laptop case away. I was going to spend the day with Bella. It was the least I could do. I walked back into the bedroom and Bella was fast asleep. I kissed her lightly on the forehead and it woke her.

"Edward, you're going to be late for work," she mumbled as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands.

I smirked. "Not going in today, beautiful. Now scoot over so we can sleep in together."

At that moment, Bella's phone started vibrating from on the nightstand beside her. She reached over for it; looking a little agitated that someone would be calling her this early. She answered the call and put it on speakerphone.

"Alice, you know I love you but it's god awful early right now," she muttered into the phone.

"How did things go with Edward? Bella, I'm anxious to hear!"

Jesus, did this pixie ever sleep?

"Why don't you ask him yourself Alice? He's right here." She handed the phone to me and proceeded to try to go back to sleep. If one thing can be said about Bella, it is that she is most definitely not a morning person.

I reached for the phone. "It was a brilliant gift Alice. I loved it, but we can talk more about it later. I think Bella's tired and I definitely didn't get much sleep last night."

"Got it. Good gift. Need sleep. Call later. Love you both!" And then she hung up.

I stripped down to my boxers and crawled into bed with Bella. She immediately threw her leg over my waist and nuzzled her nose into my neck, just like always, without even a word. I drifted back to sleep pretty quickly after that.

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